§titch my wri§ts heal my wounds

46 §titche§ acro§§ my wri§t§
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2002-08-08 07:51:06 (UTC)

were the hell does he get off callin me nosey!?!?! lol

Drumr: what?
KANDII1000: y did u leave?
Drumr: because i didn't have anything to say
KANDII1000: well i wanted to talk to you
KANDII1000: and u just left
Drumr: why do you wanna talk to me?
KANDII1000: b/c i do
KANDII1000: im sry i was talking to josh 2 but he was
there 1st and i really like him and i want to work things
out between us and me and josh and everybody
KANDII1000: god cant things ever go
Drumr: no
Drumr: cause life is complicated
KANDII1000: i feel so
KANDII1000: stupid
KANDII1000: i have about 9 online friends including you
and i keep them close
KANDII1000: close as my real friends
KANDII1000: i dont want to lose you as a friend
KANDII1000: you should realize that by now
Drumr: no i didn't
KANDII1000: i dont know if you have "feelings" 4 me
still or not but im sorry
KANDII1000: maybe i can get u the hook up with sum1 else
Drumr: i don't want a hook up with someone else
KANDII1000: y not?
Drumr: i've already found someone and im gonna
make my mind up
Drumr: i'll brb
Drumr: i need to restart my computer
OnlineHost: Drumr has left the room.
OnlineHost: Drumr has entered the room.
KANDII1000: MmMmMmMm.......juicy secret in
5...4...3...2... so who is that? Drumr: i've already
found someone and im gonna make my mind up
Drumr: her names kristi
Drumr: and she goes to my school
KANDII1000: mmm details!!!!
KANDII1000: kristi....... (preppy name) hehehe
KANDII1000: is she perrty?
KANDII1000: very perrty?
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: but why do you care
KANDII1000: awwww *b/c i want u to be happy*
Drumr: i think your just nosy
KANDII1000: ok fine u dont have to tell me then
Drumr: i already told you she was pretty
KANDII1000: i have a Q&A
Drumr: whats that?
KANDII1000: y did u say all that stuff in the email
then? you playin me like im stupid?
Drumr: no
KANDII1000: ok
Drumr: i meant what i said
KANDII1000: omg i feel like crying 4 no reason
KANDII1000: that happens more than ya know!
Drumr: its just that im trying to move on
KANDII1000: i was thinking about the past and an old
friend and us talking on the phone i was yelling and
screaming for him to leave me alone and saying it would
never work and i loved him but i had to move on
KANDII1000: & we both broke down and started to cry i
didnt want to hurt him but i knew i did... but i couldnt
take his cheating anymore.
KANDII1000: not quite the same sittuation but its a
related topic
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: im not crying
Drumr: but i usually never do
KANDII1000: me neither lol im laughing actually but
KANDII1000: typing that made me sad
KANDII1000: :(
Drumr: so why did you type it?
KANDII1000: i dunno keeping the convo going
KANDII1000: i cry a lot
Drumr: thats not entirely healthy you know
KANDII1000: i cry at night a lot, b/c i think about
being alone and i think about dying alone unknown and
unloved (thats why i think i want to be famous)
KANDII1000: so my fears dont come true
Drumr: you know if your famous
Drumr: you can still feel alone
Drumr: and unloved
KANDII1000: yea but i have 3 really big fears
KANDII1000: rejection
KANDII1000: dying alone unknown and unloved
KANDII1000: & the other is personal
Drumr: ok
KANDII1000: i think of it this way~ if you die unloved
and unknown then
KANDII1000: wasnt ur time on earth a waste?
Drumr: well i guess my time on earth will be a
KANDII1000: mine 2
KANDII1000: nobody will give a second thought to me
when i die
Drumr: i probably would never know if you died
Drumr: im sorry but i wouldn't be able to know
KANDII1000: nobody will know till the smell starts to
bother the people next door because i killed myself and my
body is rotting in my apartment
KANDII1000: ive dreamt of my death
Drumr: hey did you know that there really aren't
any stars out at night?
Drumr: their really alien houses with their porch
lights on and the shooting stars are really the aliens car
KANDII1000: the stars are always there its only because
the sun is gone that you can see them b/c of thier distance
i love the stars
Drumr: they're not stars
KANDII1000: i wish i was opened minded enough to
believe in aliens
Drumr: i do
Drumr: cause i am one
Drumr: well so this one kid said
KANDII1000: i found out i have a disorder
Drumr: what is it?
Drumr: you flirt too much?
KANDII1000: *dont know where that came from lol*
KANDII1000: no h/o ill tell you in a sec
KANDII1000: Paranoia is the biggest
KANDII1000: or however its spelt
KANDII1000: also avoidancy
KANDII1000: and dependancy
KANDII1000: 2 of the 3 are suicidal *haha*
Drumr: not unless you let them get too far in your
Drumr: its allright to be paranoid
Drumr: it keeps you alert sometimes
Drumr: avoidancy can be a good thing
KANDII1000: dependancy is the one that pushes me over
the edge
Drumr: don't let it push you that far
KANDII1000: Dependent personality disorder is
characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with
this disorder tend to
Drumr: i have a drumming disorder
KANDII1000: cling to people and fear losing them. They
may become
KANDII1000: suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They
tend to let
KANDII1000: others make important decisions for them
and often jump
KANDII1000: from relationship to relationship. They
often remain in
Drumr: sheesh
KANDII1000: abusive relationships. They are overly
sensitive to
Drumr: if i would have known that i would have not
gotten involved as much
KANDII1000: disapproval. They often feel helpless and
KANDII1000: thats what it says
KANDII1000: my paper thingy
KANDII1000: from my test
Drumr: i have a drumming disorder
KANDII1000: lol
Drumr: i also have something where i never think
im good enogh
KANDII1000: actually that is a serious disorder
KANDII1000: i 4get the name
Drumr: im never satisfied with myself
Drumr: i always think i play horrible
Drumr: but most people say i kick ass on drums
Drumr: i don't think im any good
KANDII1000: i told my mom about my disorders lol she
said she has high stress and also has a bit of paranoia
KANDII1000: *it runs in the family*
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: my stress is high
Drumr: too
Drumr: cause i push myself too much
Drumr: to get better
KANDII1000: but that dependantcy one is freaky cuz that
describes me pretty much
KANDII1000: i have stress too
KANDII1000: b/c everytime sum1 calls my family gets 10x
louder than usual
KANDII1000: lol
KANDII1000: (thank you 2 alex jozell and melissa)
KANDII1000: they give me stress
Drumr: should i download a turkey dinner for my
Sims game?
KANDII1000: hehehe
KANDII1000: i want the sims
KANDII1000: which one do u have?
Drumr: Vacation
KANDII1000: do u have the original
Drumr: you have to
Drumr: if you have an expansion
KANDII1000: i want that one sooo bad but its $50 and im
saving 4 sum other shit
KANDII1000: like a new cell
Drumr: i'd lend it to you cause i don't need it to
Drumr: but you live to far away for that
KANDII1000: lol
KANDII1000: ill buy it
KANDII1000: i just got a new palm pilot 4 school
KANDII1000: alls i need is my new cell
Drumr: cool
Drumr: i don't use organizers
KANDII1000: i do hehehe
Drumr: all my info is crammed into my head
KANDII1000: *the ones that cost the most* so i can show
Drumr: yeah
KANDII1000: my uncle has one thats $6000
Drumr: i hate the kids that do that at my school
KANDII1000: lol i hate the kids that wear AE every day
KANDII1000: or A&F
Drumr: im gonna get the hawaiian dancing lamp
Drumr: for my Sims
KANDII1000: i wish i could rip there clothes off and
throw them away
KANDII1000: lol
Drumr: i always wear adidas clothes
KANDII1000: all day i dream about sex (yea i like those
clothes too)
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: i mean how can you not like taht saying
KANDII1000: guys dream about sex girls dream about the
right guy 4 the sex lol
KANDII1000: like the movie happy campers
Drumr: never seen it
KANDII1000: lol
KANDII1000: its about summer love (and sick twisted yet
funny as hell camp shit)
KANDII1000: i wanna go to all summer long camp
KANDII1000: it costs 2 much though
KANDII1000: i should wait till im 18 (next damn year)
then ill get paid to go
Drumr: id go but then id end up killing someone
KANDII1000: id end up losing my virginity there
LMFAO!!!!!!! like happy campers
Drumr: yeah
Drumr: you probably would
KANDII1000: im not a slut even though u think that
KANDII1000: i know u think that
Drumr: i didn
Drumr: t say that
KANDII1000: u have b4
Drumr: i didn't now
Drumr: i think you flirt too much
Drumr: but you can't help that
KANDII1000: im not a virgin b/c im waiting either (if u
get that)
Drumr: huh?
Drumr: your not a virgin
Drumr: but your waiting
KANDII1000: i am a virgin
KANDII1000: but thats not b/c im waiting (saving myself)
Drumr: ok
KANDII1000: lol
KANDII1000: im not a slut i dont sleep around but i
might sleep with sum1 if the chance came up see what i mean
Drumr: the chance comes up a lot doesn't it?
KANDII1000: it has b4 but i wasnt ready so ya know i
slowed things down
KANDII1000: lost a lot of friends that way
Drumr: so
KANDII1000: how about u?
Drumr: maybe they weren't real friend
Drumr: s
KANDII1000: lemme guess ur saving urself (its in ur
KANDII1000: i know they werent real friends
Drumr: yes and no
KANDII1000: MmMm......5....4....3...2.... no huh?
Drumr: yes its in my religion
Drumr: but no its not just cause of my religion
Drumr: im saving myself till im married because i
won't be ready for the commitment
KANDII1000: y else?
KANDII1000: that it?
Drumr: and i don't feel like getting diseases when
im younger
KANDII1000: thats one of my main reasons
KANDII1000: i dont want STI's
Drumr: yeah
KANDII1000: personal question
Drumr: yeah
KANDII1000: would you sleep with me?
Drumr: maybe
Drumr: hmmm

mood: self satisfied

earlier mood: like shit in a toilet