Aa-chan

Diary of a Deranged Fangirl
2002-08-07 14:02:17 (UTC)

Fear Sets In

This was the one I've been dreading for awhile now. It's
getting ever closer to moving day and the fear is starting
to kick in really hard. That tiny little chicken shit
voice inside my head says, "Fuck it, lets just stay here.
All your friends and family are here anyways. Why move
somewhere where you don't know anyone."
But I can't let the voice win out. It was like I just to
tell J'aime when she moved, "You're not allowed to give up!"

Quitting is for loosers!!! And besides, it's like the
British Special Airforce motto goes, "Who dares wins."
(Sounds much better coming out of Solid Snake's mouth
though). But I don't want to give up. I've come this far,
and very rarely do I ever follow though on many things in
my life. That's why my life sometimes turns out to be a
huge mess.

And knowing me I'll find lots of friends. Once I get use
to a place and people, man, there's no keeping my mouth
shut. I remember once at CCP when I was taking public
speaking, I became friends with these four guys in the back
of the class, and all we did was talk. It was so bad that
once the professor had to split us all up for that class
period.

*Ah memories....*

But now I have a chance to build a new set of memories
(Once again this sounds a lot better coming out of Snake's
mouth). Meet new people. And more importantly find out
once and for all, if I can really take care of myself
without the help of Mom and Pete. Never once have I lived
on my own. I don't know what it's like. Sure, I've gone
on trips for a few days. And when I went to visit J'aime
in California for that month or so, it was bliss. No
parents, no one to nag me, responsible for only myself....
God that felt good! But I need to know if I am truly
capable of living on my own. If I can organize four people
to get to an anime convention, then I should be able to
live on my own. At least so goes the theory....

Oh well, I'll see. I'll be moving in about 13 days now, so
even if I'm not ready, it will be baptismal by fire....

Woo-hoo: Yet another splendid day here.

Barf: Going to go to the doctor's and get pummed full of
vaccinations.

Current Song: al.ni.co's Living For Myself




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