This girl's life
2001-07-09 20:13:29 (UTC)

I feel like I am drowning

I hate myself for sleeping with another man. I just cannot
get over it. Jeremy has still only been with me & now I am
not like that. I feel so dirty. I wen to the car show this
weekend with Chris & his frineds, go figure I got drunk. I
had fun with him. I do like Chris is the thing, & I feel
guilty for it. It is like I feel bad for liking a guy that
is not Jeremy. I am so used to him & all. I feel like
Jeremy is this guy who has his life all figured out. He
would be the perfect husband, he is about to be a
pharmacist, & he would be a good dad. I just feel like
everything is set & that if I do not like him or stay with
him that I am messing my life up. I just do notwant to get
stuck with a loser. I called Jeremy yesterday, it was the
first time we spoke since the forth. I actually went & saw
him but that was stupid b/c it just made me miss him & want
to be with him again. Last night I told Chris & now he is
pissed at me b/c he thinks he is my rebound. I don't know
maybe he is. But I do really like him a lot. When I first
woke up Chris called me then when we got off the phone I
called Jeremy. He is going t pick me up from work tonight &
stay with me tonight. I am nervous b/c I have not seen him.
Chris is taking me to work, Ugh I am bad RIGHT. Anyway, I
am going to go get ready for work. Until next time....