Stardirt

Pyroxysm
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2002-08-07 07:37:11 (UTC)

saying goodbye

well..i guess its time to let him free. It's clear Jory's
lost his taste for me as I have for him. The chains im
bound to loyalty and friendship for him, are slicing at my
wrists. Every day more blood is spilled, and more of my
soul is lost. Every day, Jory wins a battle. Now its
over. It must be. I wont surrender to him though, just
common sense. Iwont take his emotional abuse any longer.

I'm sad though. not to lose him, but to lose the
opportunity of quenching mythirst for revenge. I want to
see him suffer, and feel pain like he's made me. I want to
see him regret ever letting me slip away. Unfortunately,
due to my stupidity and procrastination.. I have put off
saying good bye for too long. The time it will take for
him to realize his loss, and ignorance... will be the time
it will take for me to move on. Away from him. Life's
course will most surely and definitely create some barrier
between us. SoI must live life, keeping faith that fate
will infact take a turn for justice. That Jory will
recieve what he deserves..and that one day, I will be happy
again.

Here are two songs by no use for a name my friend markfinds
resemble me almost perfeclty. I must agree with him.

LIFE SIZE MIRROR
she was done before the start, always mending broken hearts
making others miserable not knowing who she's hurting
father said, "this day will be, one for everyone to see" is
it true you'll follow suit and have you learned a thing?
it's just a selfish way to go, it's safe to say she'll
never know for every person there's a whole life story
waiting to be told when she is happy it's ok, but then
these people start to fade then we'll just watch her self-
destruct as she gets old she put up defensive shields, to
walk through all of life's minefields all defined by make-
up and a car behind she's hiding "father do you have to go,
left me questions i don't know" any answers or even close
the life time lie was true she's gonna move on with her
life, and take it one heart at a time and watch the little
girl inside her wait behind as she goes on but with this
black heart she decides, who she'll take in and shove aside
until the day she sees that everyone is gone getting used
to people leaving, thinking true love is deceiving soon
she'll know how lonely it can be now was it really worth
the pain? a couple pills make her feel sane while she lives
out the story written for the part she is to play with so
much shame for her to hide, there's no more dignity, no
pride then there will only be dark in her light of day and
she will only see a reflection, of her father's rejection
nothing will change until she breaks this life, this life-
size mirror

CHASING RAINBOWS
just heard the news today, let yourself down once again
trusted your feelings in a place that no one goes will you
do anything, to satisfy your so-called friend? there's
something you ought to know, before you explode all i want
to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows trusting those
around you is an easy thing to do i'm not saying don't
believe in someone that you don't know just don't go on
thinking that the whole world tells the truth it's all
fucked up, being reserved and quiet she doesn't understand
the message that you send don't give it all away somewhere,
someday there's someone who can replace that state of mind,
you never give it time (never) all i want to do is make
sure you stop chasing rainbows letting everybody crawl
inside your heart and mine kicking you is easy when you're
down that's where the weak know to release their anger on
someone who will not try to stand up, and give them a fight


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