Jena's Rants
2001-07-09 18:15:08 (UTC)

Are you sure that's the right hole?

Ohhhhhhhh Geezzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy Pete's Mannnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!

I can barely stand the world today. Everything about it is
polluted and gross. Did I ever tell you that I am pretty
fucking definite that Baltimore City is a little experiment
in the containment of the greenhouse effect. Yes, it's
true. You can literally see the greyish dome that
envelopes the city as you drive in over 95 and come out
through the Harbor Tunnel. You can smell it too. I
usually like to keep a nice ether drenched rag in my clutch
bag so that I can inhale that instead. Believe it or not
the air quality here is sooooooooo poor that the negative
effects to your health as a result of getting high off of
ether is much less of a concern than that of breathing the
air outside. Yeppers, I swear. To whom or what I swear I
do not know, but is it not enough to swear? No? Okay, I
will attempt to swear again in a manner that you may deem
worthy. Motherfuck shit goddamn that air stinks out
there! Good. I thought you would approve. Now, to the
good stuff. King Herbage shall not be updating his journal
nor shall he be updating his website. Unfortunately he has
lost his internet service, sa la vie. I have offered to do
the updating for him, but alas the lazy googedly eyed
monster of apathy will not allow him the free will to agree
to such a kindly offer. Oh well, I tried. Hopinononefoot
and I actually have a rather nice evening planned, despite
the fact that I feel like a run down kentucky derby race
horse after it has been "put down" and ran through the meat
grinder, I refuse to not enjoy our time together. We are
going to look at a house in Mount Vernon right across from
the Peabody tonight. This may in fact be my new
residence. Next we are going to Ellicott City to the Cocoa
Lounge for dinner, and then we are heading over to Arundel
Mills for a movie. Uhhhhhhh, I know what you all are
thinking, Jena go see a movie? Has she lost her mind???
Well, the answer is yes! I thought you already knew that?
What I think you meant to say if I may be so bold is, "Has
Jena lost her scrupples?" No, I have not. I just cannot
deny myself the pure chewing satisfaction of Wrig......, oh
Wrong endorsement, not that I am doing endorsements or
anything. I would never sell out! Never you hear me!
Okay for the right price perhaps. Okay damnit I sold out!!
I just had to get one of those cool scary costumes
from "Scary Movie" and they said if I did an endorsement I
would get a costume and 2 free tickets. I know, I am a
pathetic corporate sellout loser who deserves to be tied
and quarter and then thrown into vats of battery acid mixed
with lemon juice. Don't ask me why I agreed to do the
Wrigley's endorsement. I just could not turn down a free
lifetime supply of that tasty breath freshening gum. And
only 25 calories per stick!!!!!
If I eat three sticks a day in place of meals then I could
be a super model in no time. Then all I would need is to
pick up that heroin addict look again, you know those
smokey eyes are still all the rage in Fashion whether you
like to admit it or not. Anyhoo, I have nothing more to
say to you people - especially if you deny Heroin Chic.....