Alexander Dickson

Silent Hill: Town of Unforgetable Memori
2002-08-07 02:54:06 (UTC)

Blacky, Blacky, where for art thou Blacky!!??

Today nothing much happened, father forgot to take the
Student Loan forms into his work so everything is put on
hold another day. Its already late as it is, I don't want
to risk not getting everything set up in time. I've spent
the last 7 months preparing for this and I won't have
either of my parents fuck it up by taking too long. I need
to get pictures of myself done for the University but my
hair isnt even a relatively constant colour. The routes
are as light blonde as you can imagine and the tips are an
obvious light orange. I'm hoping a dark blonde dye will
recover it enough to make it presentable but if not I'm
just going to cut it off. Maybe not all of it but masive
chunks. Speaking of masive chunks of hair, I left the
bleaching agent on whilst I slept. Bad idea! I know you're
not supposed to do that but I had to have it lightened as
much as possible. It was all going well until I washed my
hair and dried most of it. I stuck my comb in and about 30
strands all came out without any effort. This was either
because

(1)When I wrapped the towel around my head and went to
sleep, the strands of hair got stuck and when I was moving
about were ripped out.

or

(2) There was a higher content of the prelightening stuff
and it melted the routes of tht clump of hair.

Its highly possible that Im just going bald, its what
happens when you've done as much damage to your hair as I
have in such a short time. Plus theres the family history,
other than my uncle Robert, who died of cancer a couple
years back, all the fathers generation are going/have went
bald. Meh, when it happens it happens, I've had my hair
dyeing fun.

Blacky ran off today. Blacky, in case you don't know, is
my dog and not some cute nickname I have for my imaginary
boyfriend (perhaps unfortunately?). He ran off whilst my
dad was watching our other dog, Max. Max is new and still
craps on the floor and the like so my dad has to watch him
and make sure he actually does the toilet in the backyard
instead of the kitchen. Blacky used this oppertunity to
run off through the fence. Both my father and I expected
him to wander back after an hour, maybe two but when it
was 10pm, he still wasn't back. Father tried to look for
him about 10pm but couldn't find him. Of course father
only looked around a couple of streets but we didn't
expect him to go any further.

Well its nearly 1am when I decide its time for me to go
and find him myself. Unlike father who has work in the
morning, I have no life and therefore can afford to wander
the streets for hours on end if neccessary. What actually
made me move out was the sound of the rain. It probably
had been as heavy as it was when I noticed it for a while
but for some reason I heard it then. I know what its like
to be stuck in the rain when its that heavy. I enjoy being
in such rain as much as possible, it makes me feel at
peace more than any other time. But thats when I have a
decent water resistant jacket on with enough layers of
clothing to make me feel comfortable. I saw him all alone,
cold, wet and probably as miserable as a dog can get. I
can't bear to see my poor dog suffer. As hammy as it may
sound, Black has been the only thing thats been constant
in my 7 or 8 years of being in Elderslie. He hasn't
abandoned me, put himself first over me or anything else
that other factors have done/may do. I probably would go
right over the edge if Blacky never came bak or was
killed. I had to find him and I wasn't going to doubt this
fact. Ever.

So I prepared myself for the journey ahead, thats half the
battle.

Keys, to get in and out of the house.
Small Torch, it was 1am, many dark places.
Mobile phone, incase I needed to get in touch with home
fast.
Big jacket, its was lashing down.

All suited up, I try and be as quiet as possible when
leaving the house. Father was asleep and not only did I
not want to wake him but he may have very well tried to
stop me if he knew I was going out alone at 1am to snoop
around dark streets. I can take care of myself even if I'm
unarmed but father believes I am weak. Not that I'm
invincible but I have taught myself all the basics to take
care of myself. Even Elderslie has the potential to be
dangerous although most people know better than to be
outside in the rain at 1am. I never saw another person
during the whole hour and a half that I was outside. Cars
drove by but they never count. They're just moving boxes.
I'm sure the drivers were wondering what the hell some kid
dressed in almost all black was doing in such an
environment but I didn't care.

I searched practicaly the enitre town looking for Blacky.
Some areas I didn't explore because of the complete
darkness involved. I had a torch but I was in no mood to
walk down a dark one way ditch road. I may welcome death
when it comes to get me but I do not go looking for it.
Especially when theres a mission to be accomplished. I
knew Blacky wouldn't go down them either. He had never
been in them and therefore would prove needless to
investigate. Dogs seldom wander into places they haven't
marked previously.

As I headed for the exit of Elderlie towards Paisley, a
police car was slowly chasing a white car at the small
tunnel with the cycle path bridge on it. The white car
slowly spun around and headed back into Paisley. This has
no relevance to the story but I wil just mention it incase
I find anything out in regards to it. Probably not though.

I spent an hour and a half wandering about, taking routes
which Blacky may have taken to get about. For such a small
town (technically speaking its a village), it has a lot of
roads that lead to the same place. I took them all, hoping
for any signs Black was about or had been there. Each
time, it proved fruitless as it was hard to see and the
rain made the roads and pavements very wet. During my
searches two things happened. Firstly, I slipped and fell
on my ass whilst going down some stairs near the Wallace
Monument. It didn't hurt much, if at all but it got my
soaking wet trousers even more wet. Then on the way back
home (I had given up hope of finding him by this time even
though I said I wouldn't) I slipped on the grass in the
swing park near the street I live on, twisting my ankle
slightly. Not fun, but it'll heal. I guess I should be
thankful for the stalling my ankle did because thats when
I saw Blacky waltzing towards me. I had found my dog! Well
technically speaking he found me but if I hadn't searched
for him he would have stayed outside the house and
goodness knows what might have happened!

I made sure he didn't run off again, although I doubt he
wanted to after the 3 hour (at least) soaking he got. He
looked all sad and wet, couldn't help but kiss him on the
head. I'm such a softy, but he was like a kid who's been
out in the rain for too long. I guess he is my kid in a
way, since I feed him and play with him and stuff. Guess
the paternal instincts I had when I was looking after my
brother James are still about, even if James isn't anymore.

All in all, tonight was interesting. It stopped my
repressed insanity to take over completely and helped me
focus on something worth keeping sane for. To others he
might just be a dog but to me, he's an important pillar of
my well being. And that will never change.