Lady Marmelade

Days of Reality
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2001-07-09 15:37:55 (UTC)

in dire need of a bf

when i came back from la ronde yesterday, i suddenly came to
a realization: i am in dire need of a boyfriend. u see, when
i was at that theme park yesterday, most the girls there
were with their bf's and they were all luvy-duvy. this one
girl was making out with her guy right in front of me, and
this other dude kissed his gf's hand like a gentlemen. at
first i thought it was completely stupid, but as the day
went on, i realized that i wish i could have that too.

i mean, i want a bf that's really sweet and mature (and hot,
duh) that's like in love with me. i definitely don't need
another one of those bf's that are completely immature and
only think about sex every 10 seconds. no, i have had more
than my share of those kinda boyfriends. my last one lasted
about one week (remember dean, roxy?). the guy was history
right after i found out that in his opinion, girls only have
legs to go from the kitchen to the bedroom. i got so pissed
off, i told him to go to hell and hung up on him.

the one before that was even worse. (remember blair, roxy?)
if the stupid moron didn't put me on the spot with the rose
n stuff on valentine's day, i woulda never dreamed of going
out with him. but i did in the end, and i decided to make
the best out of it. of course, the boy had some serious
jealousy probs. he always flipped when i flirted with other
guys. but come on, he has no right to tell me that just cuz
i was 'his girl' (eww), i can't flirt wit no one else. so
screw him, he was history too.

basically, the longest 'relationship' (hate the word) i've
ever been in was um, like less than 2 months. so i did some
thinking, and i finally understood why i can't keep a bf. i
am afraid of commitment. dead afraid. omg, i'm chandler bing
from 'friends'!!! ne way, u see, commitment means i have to
give up many things. i have to give up flirting with other
boys (i no tat now); looking for another boyfriend (duh);
and of course, i'm stuck with one guy who i know i'm gonna
get sick of no matter who he is. so the cure? don't got one.
just gotta go through another series (probably more than 10)
of boyfriends before i can find one that i wanna keep. i'll
depend on fate and hope that one day, i'll finally find a
guy that i want to spend...if not the rest of my life, more
than 3 months with. *sigh* patience, i'm waiting...