DayDream Believer
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2002-08-05 19:31:34 (UTC)

we made it darling

Eh, me and Tommy are a cuple now...
It all started Satturday, I was babysitting all day and
didnt come to him before 21.20 or so, we had a normal day,
nothing special, I think I noticed when we went to bed that
he told me even more sweet things than normal.
He told me so manu sweet things, like always, I even wake
up once in the middle of the night of him snuggling with
with me. *S*

Sunday we were supose to go for this long walk on some
mountains, but we didnt, so instead we was in bed for a
long time, then we went to a gas station and had breakfast
and we went up to his mother and little sister.
Emma is SO sweet, sometimes I feel like I want to have a
baby with him right away, he would be such a perfect
father. (but then I remember that sweet little baby`s grow
up to be inoing little kids and that it would ruin my
education and maybe life)
His mother, who has the same name as my sister, Karoline
and his sister Emma was going away to stay at some friends
of Caroline (I`ll write it with a C so you will know the
diffrence) her father was not comming. Tommy do not like
him much, but we were only talking for a while, and we were
oitside, so I havent seen him yet.
They went inside to pack and we went down to this place
were he used to go as a kid and stil goes, its a water and
we went swimming.
When we got back the sport was on tv, I know how much he
loves it, it was soccer and thats his faborite so I wanted
him to watch, but he know how boring I find it so he dindt
want to watch even though I told him a hundred times that
it was okey, he let me see the whole monday afther the
miracle the day before, about Hellen Keller, I mean how fun
can a movie about a blind and deaf girl be for a boy who
hassnt read the book?
Oh he is just SO sweet *SD*

Well, when we went to bed, all snuggling and stuff for the
first time all naked, and he was lying on top on me..
He knew that I didnt wanted to sleep with anyone before I
was in a realationship, we have discussed it before and he
agreed on waiting.
And he said I dont get why we are not together, and I just
said that I diddnt want to have that discussion now cause I
had been trying for a while but it seemd like he didnt
wanted to talk about it and that made me just feel bad.
He said that he had`nt feelt like talking about it lataly
cause we were not going anyway with it.
He said "Im in love with you, you have put your past behind
you and say that you`re in love with me. I wanna be with
you" I said "I wanna be with you to" the we kissed so I
guess we`re a cuple now!!
And ofcourse it ended with us making love, it hurted so
much in the beginning, og my good it hurt so bad, but he
was beeing so good to me and it just became better and
Aftherwards we talked for a long time, and the I feelt
asleep in his arms.
This morning he had to get up early to work, but I stayed
in bed, he said I could sleep as long as I wanted to and
gave me the keys to the house.
The owner of the house was fixing something and made a
horrible lot of noice so I could not fall to sleep agen, I
was feeling so reastless and afther I had tryed everything,
sleeping, reading, watching a move (or at least tryed) had
beakfast, cleaning I took the buss to the city, stil
I had a hairdresser appointment, so I had to go home
instead of waiting for him to come home, to bad really..

I`ve been verry depressed today, I (hope not) dont think
its because if Tommy. Even though I wish he was there with
me in the morning, I needed him.
Maybe it was baceuse of my hair, it was teard a lot and I
knew I had to cut a lot of it.
My hair is the only thing I like about my self.
I have never dyed or collored it, its natural, long and
beutifull. I have always like itn and when I was a kid and
Karonline had nightmares about fire and that someone wanted
to kill her, my worst nightmare was that my parents had got
a harir dresser to cut me when I was asleep.
My father didnt like that I keept it so long and said that
I had to cut it shorter all the time.
When Selina died I decided to keep my hair in the memory of
her, but I keept it a secret. So always, wherever I go I
would have a part of her with me.
But today I had to cut like 25 cm, its stil long, but its
wrong and I feel so bad about it.
I would have been crying about it even if Selina was alive,
its wrong, this is not my hair, not the way it should be!
But I get used to it, Im sure. It will grow out agen, more
healty and butifull than ever.
I use a furtune on pills and healthy food with all the
diffrent b vitamins for my hair, I think I wanna by some
cures aswell.
I love my hair so bad that if I got cancer I would not take
any treatment where I could risk to lose my hair, I would
rather die with it on me, and that says a lot..

Love Angel