Reality Bites
2002-08-05 07:42:40 (UTC)

New outlook

I've been trying out this new outlook on my life and I like
it so far. The fact that I realized that I don't need to
depend on Luke for my happiness makes it easier to feel
content when he's not around. He's been gone since
Wednesday and he comes home tomarrow, but so much has
changed since we last talked. I feel all cool for once. Not
cool image wise, just like chill, you know? Like if he by
some miricle steps up and decides to become this all great
boyfriend type guy then fine but if things stay the same
and I have to continue to let the idea of him as a
boyfriend go then that'll be fine too.

I have great friends. I dont know why it's taken me this
long to realize that, but they're really great. Friday I
hung out with Alyssa, Erik, Alexis and a bunch of others
and it was so much fun. And then tonight Alyssa, Caitlyn
and I went to this poetry thing and then out to dinner and
then chilled at my house til like 2 just laughing and
talking. It really showed me that guys should be an added
bonus in my life but not the main focus. Like I said, I
love Luke, an amazing amount actually. I'd venture to say
in a completely different way than I've felt about someone
before, but it looks like what I have to do is let him go.

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