I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2002-08-05 03:30:56 (UTC)

Just clarifying

This is an email that I wrote to a very good friend of
mine. She wanted the whole Chris story. So, I decided to
put it here in case anybody else wanted to read it.

Here it is:

Ouch. I'm so sorry about Dave girly girl. Maybe he just
needs some time to cool off. And I'm always glad to be of
help to a friend in need.

Okay, so Chris. I met him online about a year ago....Sept
of last year I think. We just kept talking and talking and
he's become one of my best friends. He's just this really
cool guy who knows absolutely everything about me, and
will keep his hand on my ankle when I go floating off in
emotional chaos.

He is from CA, but is living in Washington, DC becuase he
graduated from American University this spring. He was
done last spring actually (he was in IB in high school)
but for some reason graduated this spring.

He is Korean. He was adopted when he was 2. He has an
older sister who is Taiwanese and she was adopted as
well. His dad
is German, and his mom is Chinese.

[Section deleted because it's private information that was
told in confidence to me, and not mine to share]

Well, he came to visit me in early July. He was here for a
week. It was so awesome. We had such a good time. We
didn't do much, but we were together. He loved Thriftco.

Well, I have been in love with him for a long time. And I
told him, and he was flattered, but there were too many
obsticles for him (meaning distance) and he's so careful
about having feelings about anybody because he's scared
they will leave.

So, I made myself push those feelings aside, and try to
move on. But, suprisingly, he was upset and sad when I
told him that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I told
him that it would be so easy for me to bring those
feelings back, but I couldn't do it with no reciprocation.
I wouldn't do that to myself, to pine away over something
that won't happen.

He pondered that for a week or so after he left Orlando.
He and I talk just about every night before we go to bed.
He was suprised to tell me that I had become part of his
daily routine. That talking to me was just something that
had to be done, like brushing your teeth. I was flattered.
Then, one day, he told me that he had a secret. I asked
him what it was, and he told me to sit down. I was lying
down at the time, so all was well. Then he told me "I'm
in love with you". I was shocked.

Chris and I have had numerous conversations about love,
and we both believe that there is a huge difference
between 'love' and 'in love'. You can love your dog, and
your mom, and waffles, or whatever. But you can't be in
love with that. It's just a connotation thing.

He's had guests since Wednesday, and I haven't really been
able to talk to him. I miss him alot and alot. It's weird
not talking to him regularly.

So that's what Chris is about. As for what happens with us
next, I have no idea. We're not dating, we really don't
have any ties to each other, but whatever happens will
happen. I just hope something good happens.

I miss you too Kel-o.