Me and X
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2002-08-04 23:15:20 (UTC)

shes moving

x came up and saw me on my birthday... and things have been
kinda crazy for him down there because he recently had
caught his wife cheat on him.. which was fine.. but he
thought it solidified her not moving with him.
i guess it had an opposite effect.
part of me thinks i shouldve known better.. he kept
telling me she wasnt going to move with him.. but i knew
better inside of me. he said no no no she wasnt going to.
she had made her decision. i dont know. i dont understand
how the chain of events of her cheating on him helped him
and her stay together. it just doesnt make sense.
but i expected her to go. its okay though.

i believe him that the end is near however. they are
taking the steps. he got a seperate bank account from
i think more and more we are realizing that we really cant
be without eachother.
he wanted me to move in with him and her...which is fucking
he even tells me that she is expecting to live with me. i
dont know its very confusing. but i dont want to live with
her. i just dont want to. but.. hes told me that if i
stay up here any longer he wont be with me.
and i am scared that he will leave..... we were so close to
making it happen. but i am afraid he will leave me now
because he doesnt trust me. i dont know what to do
anymore. should i just go down there and bite the bullet
and fucking live with her even though i dont want to.....
i dont know what to do anymore. i really dont think i can
do it. i cant. i dont want to live with her at all. and
he will probably leave me now. i miss him. he didnt call
me today. i couldnt call him last night like i thought i
would be able to.. but he told me he would call me
regardless today. maybe he cant get a hold of me beacause
im on the damn computer. but. i dont know. i tried
getting in touch with him today at his work. but i just
dont know whre he is. and i found a calling card that ran
out after i called his work so i cant call his previous
apartment to see if hes still there.. i dont know.
i miss him terribly.
i had so much fun with him on wednesday... we can be so
good together. but i feel like i will never get anything
right. i miss you x... i hope maybe youll call me tonight

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