sweetaddiction

"she fucking hates me..."

so i went to two different dennys tonight.
once with robin.
yay for her. i love her so much.
and once with a bunch of people.
i dont even know who i talked to on allis cell phone.
but i went anyway and i had a pretty good time.

i got a new lip ring tonight. its nice and i like it.
its weird cuz i keep trying to play with it but it doesnt
really work all that so well at all..

i should really go to sleep.

i love the way this new keyboard sounds when i typing.
it makes me happy.
do do dah dooooo
its a happy thing.

so i work a lot next week and i have no idea when im going
to see emily again.

shes going to be back during her break though, so im not
all that concerned about it.

its weird thinking that soon. as soon as school starts
again. that im never going to see her.

shes my best friend.

i have a lot on my mind but i dont even really know where
to begin.

my life has never been simple.
or easy.

hm.

i dont want to go to work tomorrow. im dreading it.

i wish i could just listen to ani.
for a long long time.
her words keep me sane.
or really remind me that im not crazy.
and thats its okay to be kinda of in between.

jennifers birthday is really soon.

i feel very lonely right now.
its weird how i can be surrounded by people that love me.
and still feel so fucking alone. and cold.

its like im in some sort of fucking haze.
and i need to snap out of it.

i hate drugs.

my back is killing me.
i hurt so much.

i need to stop thinking about shit and just go to sleep.
i am making myself crazy.

---