Diary of Thoughts, Hopes, and Dreams
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2001-07-08 15:55:11 (UTC)


Dear Diary,
Today I was at lunch with my mom, and everything was
going really nicely. There was a group of men sitting near
us, and one of them was looking at my mom. As those men
were getting ready to leave, the one man came over and
starting talking to my mom. MY MOM ACTUALLLY LIKED HIM,
THOUGH. I got really mad, and they exhcanged phone
numbers...and they're supposed to go on a date tonight. A
DATE. While I have to stay home with my grandmother. I
hope they break up, and I know that its cruel to hope for
the worst like that, but I dont think my mom belongs with
any man besides my dad. And my dad is dead, so I dont
think she belongs with any man at all. All of my girl
friends like Alexi, Kim, Tina, Johanna, Kaitlin, Kaya,and
Tatiana tell me its ok not to want my mom to date. And
then all my adult friends, and (of course) my mom's friends
say that she doesnt deserve to be lonely in life, and that
she needs to date. "Its what every other single adult
does." Is what all her friends tell me. And my mother
tells me its not fair that I have a life and I get to go
out with friends, and she doesnt. She says she needs a
life, too. Well, I guess one of the reasons I dont like
her dating is because I'm worried that something is going
to happen to her while she's away. I know she can take
care of herself...she's been doing it all her life, but I
always worry. Another reason I dont like her to date is
because I think she is too good for the guys that go for
her, and the guys that she goes for. She gets really
attatched to some of the guys, and when they break up, she
is either terribly depressed, which I hate to see her that
way, or she's pissed, and then it just HAPPENS to be taken
out on me, or she says "I'm never dating any guy again!"
And I say GOOD, because I cant stand to see you like this.
But she's been using those famous words for 2 or 3 years
now...and since then, she's had about 4 boyfriends and a
few dates. I can see how much those words really mean to
her. I dont think she really understands how I feel. She
sees the tears in my eyes, the hate in my eyes when I meet
her "dates". But that must not really mean too much to
her. I know she isnt a slut, because she doesnt act that
way. But do I think she's desperate? I'm not sure.
More Later,