LightCantTouchMe

A Strange One Indeed
2002-08-03 07:34:44 (UTC)

Chaotik Dreams with Apocalyptik Futures in the Distance

I feel so empty. I thought I was happy for a second today,
but then I realized it was just gas, lol(j/k). I feel so
hollow, so totally devoid of my humanity. I'm looking for
the perfect blade for myself, at least for the moment.
Considering my hand, until I can recover enough to use
traditional weapons, I must use a lighter instrument. HAHA, I'm going
to design this new weapon myself and call it the Chaotic Gear. I most
definitely want something out of the ordinary, not a sword, but a
small device. Maybe about the size of a mace, though I would
definitely prefer a pole-arm, considering no one will be using a
sword against me that is good enough to actually cut the pole-arm
down. But I really need something I can hide, and I want it to be a
blade. I have quite a few designs in my head, I just have to sort
through them until I find the one that fits my balance and skill at
this point. This is my focus, which I sorely need, b/c if I don't
focus on something, I'll try to kill myself. Ppl don't know how bad
things are with me right now, except for sam, and even if they do,
they don't give a shit. all we have is one another. I'm going to end
up turning into a cereal killer at some point(I know, my attempt at
humor, I don't think its working out as well as it usually does).
Lol, if monkeys could fly, then the angels would be troubled indeed.
I have assumed the identity of the Mad Hatter, well, the fucked up
side of me has, and frankly, I kinda like it. I go around spouting
phrases like "curiouser and curiouser" and things along
those lines, and rhyming, etc, and it all seems to be a
manifestation of my insanity and not just a gimmick to fit
the name. Strange, eh? Well, thats what it is to be
chaotic. I think I found a new religion...Fate. I'll
explain that in another entry. For now, I'll say only that Fate
is chaotic, and chaos is good, having its own form of order
and such. Anyway, I believe I will float on over to my
garden in the clouds and drift to sleep. Oh yeah, one last
thing: If anyone reads this, try being a little insane,
impulsive, and/or chaotic, for once. Just do what you feel
like doing and let go of everything, EVERYTHING . Later
kiddies

Nos




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