The Nightshade Princess
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2002-08-02 23:56:41 (UTC)

conversations kill

Once more I am stuck at my grandmother's house. I
really honestly don't want to be here, however my mother
wanted to take a weekend vacation with her boyfriend, and
my grandmother is lonely, so I was shipped here. I myself
am lonely here, in the absence of all friends, loves, and
music. At least the computer works, though it was made
in '92, so it's more than a little slow.
Yesterday was horrible. I got my hair dyed again at
mother's salon, but it still didn't take all the colour, so
it's lighter than I wanted. After this, my mother had to
do a massage, so I had a few hours to kill. Going home
would not have been advisable, as I had fallen into another
bad mood swing. I couldn't stop thinking of the fight that
Spyder and I had the night before. My mother got the whole
story out of me over lunch, and decided that I shouldn't be
seeing the boy any longer. She isn't going to directly
forbid him, but she won't make it easy for us to see each
other if we wanted to. It's all but over anyway for he and
I, though my forgiving (or masochistic) spirit had begun to
take over.
I decided that it was best not to call Spyder at all,
choosing instead to meet with LesTaT at the mall across the
street. I met some chatty female company, which distracted
me for awhile. I soon saw LesTaT enter, and went to
intercept him. The moment I stepped out of the coffee
shop, however, I saw Spyder and his best friend. I
realized the possibility of things getting messy, and hoped
that he didn't see me. LesTaT and I, along with a friend
of his, strolled through a few of the stores, I cursing my
fate and LesTaT and his friend saying little to me, though
it was better than not speaking at all.
Finally, it happened. Spyder passed us as we were
walking, glared at me, then started to leave. I almost
lost it there. I stopped him, and soon a lovely discussion
ensued, until I started crying again and he left. Drama's
a bitch. He still says he loves me, but there is no way
possible I can keep a relationship with him. I'm upset
about all of this, though something told me that we would
not last the day we got together. I ignored that voice,
now I wish that perhaps I had not. At any rate, I sound to
myself very dull and unexciting. I have not been sleeping,
and I shall go...

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