Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
2002-08-02 06:03:29 (UTC)

I know I'm not the only one

Today I realized some things. I was standing outside
watching the truck while Jason was carrying boxes down from
the apartment. I was frantically looking around at people
walking by....some kids were trying to steal some of our
shit....Then I started thinking about how annoying it was
that we had to move our own shit, and that we had to do it
late late late at night...because one of us had to work and
what not. Then I realized that not one...not a single one
of my friends offered to help me move, let alone call and
ask how it was going. It's funny, because I try and be
there when my friends are going through shit, and there I
was...in a not so great part of town watching Jason's truck
and listening to police cars wailing by..being paranoid and
scared out of my mind.... just so my things would be safe.
Then I went to Jason's band practice only to realize that
his band was nicer to me than my friends and that I
probably have a better time just sitting there with
them..even though that's not how it should be. I'm just
naive I guess. I feel alone. Meh..and my rent was raised.
But that's OK. My friends get upset over trying to "find
themselves"..when really they just need to learn to be
comfortable enough to BE THEMSELVES...and I'm sitting here
feeling alone...with no family....no outlet....no one to
talk to but Jason, and Jason's life is hard enough as it
is...but you live and you learn I guess...