*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2002-08-02 03:34:58 (UTC)

LIKE ALWAYS :(

Sometimes, I think there could be something wrong w/ me
because I always mess up a good thing. I don't know man!
Okay, I went out w/ "Bear". It was cool too because we rode
around and went to the movies. Now, the boy had never seen
the first two Austin Powers, but he agreed to see the 3rd
anyway. Man! When we were sitting there, I was just
like, "Dang, he reminds me so much of Leroy." I mean,
everything he did, he did it like Leroy. There was this one
point where he touched my knee and asked if I was cold. My
Gosh! Whoa! His touch sent shivers through my body. I was
really feeling him. Anyway, I took him back to his dorm and
I kinda wanted to kiss him, but I decided not to. I thought
I was going to save it for the next day. OH, the next
day......ummmm.....like always, I always seem to mess up a
good thing. To skip the long story, it ended w/ me saying
that I wasn't going to set myself up thinking there could
be something, so I guess he felt that he was wasting his
time. There was a big part of me that wanted to explore
whatever was to come w/ him. I mean, knowing that he
wouldn't be back till the 11th and I was leaving the
17th.....what was the point? I told him that we could be
friends because I enjoyed being around him and liked the
conversation, but I don't think he too much cared to hear
that. So.....he got out the car. :( Crazy me....I felt like
I was suppose to and was about to shed some tears because
that could have really been a lil something. I had this big
part that liked him and then there was this slight part of
me that didn't. Some of the things he did and said just
threw me off a little. I kinda felt like a lot of stuff he
said was game. I also felt that he wasn't real w/ me. I
could kinda see the "playa" under all the sweet guy stuff.
Who knows though. Even though I let it go...and he probably
did too....if it comes back, then there could be something.
We'll just have to see. I'll HOllA! *J*