Pure Belligerence
2001-07-07 22:55:27 (UTC)

*And im so confused, about what to do, sometimes i wanna throw it all away*

ugh, *sigh*, so much shit has gone on in the past few days
i havent wanted to write... i dont know if its because
theres too much and im lazy, or i really dont wanna admit
to myself its true and write it down. My cousin came over
two nights ago and told me something about my family, the
family i thought was narmal and loving, that shattered my
perception of everything. hes only 12..... and told me
only a few things... and he said those werent even the
worst things.... and i feel horrible... that he, being 3
years younger than me, has to carry around all that crap
with him, and me, 3 years older.... could hardly handle the
thing he did tell me and wanted to just break down and cry
there. And i mean, it has to do with my family, my aunt to
be specific, which is his mother, so this must be so much
harder for him. It makes me mad because, people never tell
me things.... and i have to fill in the holes myself... and
i am nearly always wrong... and i had things totally
backwards.... ugh. I know this must be sooo confusing... i
might try and fill you in later if im feeling up to it.