The GoddessIris

Alter~Ego
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2002-08-01 20:12:10 (UTC)

ConTrol

Darker days breed darker nights.
My smile faded as I went to that night and every night
now. The memory still burns on my eyelids.
I feel my body harden from the cold.I'm away from
everything even though it all surrounds me.
he holds me down , he pulls me up.What could I do?
I cut myself off from the world. i sit apon a cloud
watching myself disappear.I saw my body ripped off of my and laying
in a pile next to him.
he had taken my pride somethign I could not get back.Maybe he'll
stop sonn. Maybe this is forever.I'm chocking on my screams.i guess
i'm the only one who can hear them . Where is everyone tomight?
Where is that thing you call god?
To busy for i guess , because you know i prayed for the first time
that night.
Why don't I run faster? Why can't I feel the ground?Are my eyes
closed or is it just to dark to see?
Afterwards, I put my clothes back on and walked home nothing new?
Sorry i didn't keep my mouth closed. People told me i was strong. i
can't rember their words. i only rember him and his touch and his
smell.
is this my punishment for everything I did or didn't do.i try not to
dream.
Senseless pity for my pain you say you're sorry ( but glad it didn't
happen to you).
Leave me be naked and cold , beaten and bruised.
maybe i shouldn't have told anyone , everyone needs one dirty secret.
hwy didn't i die then , why didn't i die before.Death seems so
beautiful to me now.
I want to cut off his dignity like he stole mine. i wan to cut it
off and show everyone how weak he is now.laugh at him like they
laughed at me. Stare at him like they stare at me .
Question him like they question me .Everyone knows they can see
right through me . They can hear the cries in my laughter.this is
hell were living in , is there anywher i can hide?
- Every good thing has to end but i guess the bad things jsut get
worse. -


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