redstarfish2

No Matter How Hard I Try...
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2002-07-31 22:57:52 (UTC)

something to think about....

hey! Yeah, this is me going through another one of those
confusuion stages. *sigh* I hate it! lol. I just wish I
could figure everything out and that everything can be good
again.
***
Like how when I was little. I was always happy, I didn't
notice pollution or bad. Everything was happy and colorful.
People were nice and wonderful. Where did that go? I miss
those times so much. I could play outside without worrying
about being stole until one day. I remember that. My mom
would watch us for fear we'd be taken. I didn't quite
understand why someone would want to take another persons
child and happiness. But I didn't mind because my parents
were there when I got hurt or when I did something good.
They were always watching and always with me, so I had no
complaints. I remember when I WANTED to help mow the lawn
and things like that but my parents wouldn't let me.
***
Now parents fear even letting their children outside. I
argue with my mom when she asks me to do something. The
world is ugly and gray. I don't want my parents watching me
and with me every second. I realized all people aren't
good. But of course, I have to decide if they are or not.
Drugs and violence surround me. Everything seems bad and
evil.
***
No one cares about the simple things as someone I know
would say. Like rainbows. Seriosuly, do you even care about
it? When was the last time you saw one? Did you look at it
or think twice?
***
Well this is just a poem I wrote last night.

Why me?

Why do I always want what I can't have?
Where's my prince charming?
Where's my happy ending?

Why do I always want what's not mine?
What's someone else's,
But remains on my mind.

Why am I stuck with nowhere to go?
Why did you leave me?
Why was my happiness taken away?

Why cant you just come back?
You're only alive when I close my eyes,
I can still see you in my mind.

Why'd you leave me here all alone?
With no one to love,
And no place to call home.

Why did my world come crashing down?
What did I do that was so wrong?
Is it a crime to want to belong?

Where are you when I need you most?
Why do you have to make things so complicated?
Why can't I just let go of you?

Why me?

~Ashley Bott
7/30/02
***
I have to go let my sister use this line. ttyl.


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