my simple small world
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2002-07-31 22:10:10 (UTC)

am I dead yet?

Yep....angry again.
My best, and basically only friend.....hates me..She gets
close to me, learns things about me.....and after I pour
out my heart, she spits the blood back in my face.
I'm sick of's getting really old.....
Oh my brother died, that's NOTHING compared to 3 relatives..
Oh I can NEVER be sad, everything is perfect.
And lets not forget I get EVERYTHING I want....
That's total bullshit.She makes me realize no one actually
knows me....some may know how I act, or some of the things
I've done, but no one knows me.I don't know if that's a
good thing or a bad thing...I only want one person to know
me...and I want that to be the person I marry, granted I'm
lucky enough to get married.But now that I think about it, I don't
believe in divorce which means I don't believe in marriage..I believe
in love though....
Yep, that's my best friend........
Chris never came over today..something happend or something.
And I didn't want to go over to his house.....he's at the band
room right now.....I wonder what he's doing.Probaly having
a hell of a lot better time then I am(probaly fucking jess too)...
(I'm at my grand-
mothers house).......
When we first got here my stepdad started making fun of the
two gages in my ears telling me to go to africa and fuck a
n*ger.(I don't use that word..........)It made me mad, then
again it was supposed to.I'm not racist at all...THAT WORD PISSES ME
I wouldn't mind dying right now.I'm not suicidal...but
honestly I feel like there is nothing here for me right now.