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2002-07-31 08:37:31 (UTC)

My big grave

ف???ح??إز?ار? ?صوـ¤آأوزـأش?ـتءح
??ذ?صى ?إر?¤حآ?ح?آىسكثىأىتض??ش? ?صو?إزآـ؛ه?¤?لءوءص?ش?ار?أ?س
ك???ذ?صو ¤??ىز??ح??سإر??أذق??قإ?ـ?ى??وزء?إز?فت?تاوز?

¤ازءءط?آزء¤وس¤ط? ?صوـ¤آ¤ش?اوزـ؛ه?ـ?طوح??صوفت??ص
??ذ?صى ?إر?أعىتض??أ??ر??ىزء
لححز?زبـآه?آزء?ض? ¤حآ?أذ?ظى?كثى¤ازءق??ـ?صوآاك?ثراك?

I just realized how hard it is to stay in the place where i'm not belong...

Everybody always told me to move on.
But you know what ....
Nobody knows that i'm moving on all the time,
even in the second when they were tellingme that sentence.
But it really hurts to see yourself stay STILL,
while heart is already beyond the way.

Every single mistake can harm me at this step.
Even a little misunderstanding someone threw it on me.
It worked with my feeling by oppressing me into the the hole
that i can't climb up.

It seems no one can be my side as usual, even they are trying... I have no space for anything.

No one understand in what i am and how i feel.
They do just their best to tell me wise word, i couldn't follow.
Gap between us is expanding gradually...
it happended even with my closet one.

They are now running out of patient with me
and i know ...
finally they will ignore who i am.

It's really hard for me now, to handle life peacefully.

july, 2002