clueless

nobody cares
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2002-07-31 03:54:49 (UTC)

betrayed by my best friend

today i have felt the emptyest that ive ever felt in my
whole life. i thought that breaking up with someone u love
so much is the worse feeling in the world but today i have
realised pain beyond pain from a lfetime friendship hurts a
million times more. today i was betrayed by my best friend
in the whole world, the only person i tell all my hopes and
dreams, all my secrets to no matter how much i have to keep
it a secret i tell only her and today she goes and ruins my
life. Lately anyone that knows me personaly knows that ive
been going through way to much shit having to deal with my
parents abusing me and giving me no respect and my so
called friends always giving me crap and out of all people
my best friend knows how rough it is and we had plans for
today to get together so i could have atleast one day of
relief of knowing i wont be hurt at home because i was
suppost to go to her house and guess what? instead of
calling me up and telling me that we arent doing anything
today she goes to the mall all day with her mom for the fun
of it. no calling me up and saying we should make it
another day, not even a small email letting me know. she
just goes. now i know wut ur thinking so what u got ditched
and let down big deal but it is a very big deal because
shes my best friend and right now it seems like i dont have
very many friends that care and she really does or so i
thought and now she goes and kind of says haha im gonna go
to the mall allll day and not tell u and let u find out
from my brother. but ofcourse she doesnt say that but thats
what it feel like and shes my only reason for living
anymore. all my other true friends seem to always be
occupied or when there boered they dont want to ever
entertain me and well my family could give a rats ass
because im the irresponsible teenager that knows nothing.
now it doesnt only seem like im alone i am alone and nobody
in this world cares. well i cant say nobody cares because i
do know that my friend melissa does care its just she cant
stand listening to my shit so its like hmmm does she really
and i know i have issues that i really need help with but
really who can i turn to ive tryed about everything
i cant go to my parents because they dont understand and it
seems like they dont care wut so ever that goes around with
me because my mother said the other day "oh look at donnell
(my brother) he looks so depressed"and i actually freaked
out and couldnt hold it back any longer and i just blurted
out "IM DEPRESSED" "does anyone care?" them my mother just
looked at me and said"oh thats nice" "he must feel terrible
not to be able to do anything" when he does plenty i mean
come on hes one of the most popular guys at his school and
here i am telling her how i hate life and it seems like
shes not hearing me and just zoning me out so its like what
ever i didnt think u would listen anyways.
ive asked my friends for help and they dont know wut to do
and the most help i got was oh dont worry things cant get
any worse they can only get better.HELLOOOOOOOOO three
years later and there getting alot worse and another thing
they said it will get better soon... well frig how long is
soo an internaty
oh great she just wrote me a message i wonder wut it
says.........wow fitsr line says "omg i cant believe how
immature u are" wow wut a best friend so suppostive

yup thats her email that she sent me and then she tells me
that she can do wut ever she pleases but she doesnt like it
when she gets ditched herself so shes a brat and she can go
ahead and be a selfish little brat


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