sex kitten

life of a porn star
2001-07-07 01:37:04 (UTC)

still hung up on that damn boy

so here we go another day more complaining. well actually i
had a really fun day. its my last day on the cape and i
went shopping and fishing. i caught and eel and he
swallowed the hook and it made me cry bc i thought i killed
him lol. but he is swimming in the sea all happy again. so
tonight there was the most amazing sunset over my beach and
i sat there and thought about stuff for awhile. i have come
to the realization that my life is hell without matt. i
dont care if we are friends or if he is more than that but
he used to make me feel so good when we would talk and
stuff. so im still not over him even though its been over a
year since we broke up and i havent talked to him in a
month. i wish i could erase him from my mind or that i
nevermet him bc he has put me through so much shit and he
doesnt even realize it. he thinks we are friends but we
never talk. ive dated other guys since him and
unfortunately i could not feel the same with any of them. i
have come to the conclusion that i have to get him back or
find someone even more amazing. which would be hard. how
come i feel like this? he is just a random guy i dated. but
he was the first guy i dated that i actually had real
feelings for and it did not feel fake. ok im out peace and
love.


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