Lenore the fool

Steal this diary
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2002-07-30 05:47:18 (UTC)


Today has just been a bad day, avoiding being in my own house
cause i hate being here when the cleaning people are here.
So today i was sitting out in the garage for a few hours
while they were hear. I then went to the doctors which was
bad cause i get weighed and i weigh much more than i believed
i weighed, then she said some things offering me meds for
things i didn't know were a problem like skin, my face was
fine but...yeah. And to top off myself esteem i come home to
hearing about a beautiful girl, i mean the most enthusiastic
description of anyone i've heard in a long time once more
reminding me i'm not like that andpeople don't think about me
that way and i'll never be that way. And i fucked up with my
friend. I found her online diary. I read a few entries, and
then stopped i mean nothing bad. And then...i decided to let
her know i found it in case anything ever happened and so she
wouldn't be paranoid thinking i read everything. But she
sorta freaked which is perfectly understandable but i told
her i would never ever read it again, and i really won't.
I'm as good as my word. And now she's asking me how i came
across it. And i don't know what to say...cause technically
i didn't find it....my friend did but this was my confession
not hers and i'm not ratrting her out. So i don't know how
she found it, I only read it to verify it was hers then was
pulled in to another entry cause it was referenced in a few.
But all in all i stopped reading just to stop reading, cause
i love the idea of finding out what people are really
thinking but it just shouldn't be done. Not with people you
know, breaking trust, luckily i think she trusts me and she
doesn't seem mad, but will prolly write about it in her diary
which i can't read, lol. sorta weird how i can read i but i
know what's gonna be there. Well i think i prolly shouldn't
have told her and just never gone back. Now she'll always be
paranoid that i'm reading it. Fuck today has not been my day.
And I feel as crapy about myself as ever if not worse.


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