AngeL w/o WinGs

-=-My So Called Life-=-
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2002-07-30 04:18:11 (UTC)

Further Seems Forever

Ok that is a band name, but it seems to be a good entry
title, since it was the cd playing on the car ride home w/
Andrew. Ok well let's see. I will admit it in this silly
journal thing, i like andrew. i really really like him.
when i think about us, when i think about when i looked at
him, when i think of our kiss, i get all jumpy happy hyper
where i cannot seem to stop myself from smiling really
really big and goofy-like, and at the same time i can't
help my stomach from knotting up and feeling butterflies
and nausious...yet anxious/excited at the same time. this
feeling is crazy, it's like an emotional rollercoaster, but
i don't wanna let this feeling go either. ok well here's
what happened, Sunday July 28th, 2002. Andrew J. and I
agreed to hangout because we wanted to see eachother before
he left for ecuador and then maine. and after he kinda
cancelled in a way (we didnt make solid plans tho) the week
before, i wasn't even sure he was serious at all, even
though we had hungout 2 weekends before that and he held my
hand sitting outside Swingtime, this minigolf/arcade place
waiting for our rides. well anyways, he asked if i minded
if he invited Joe M., who happens to be one of my best
friends, and his as well, only thing is Joe did or does or
I don't even know had....feelings for me. And Joe had a
problem with us talking like 5 months ago, and things got
messy and Andrew and mine's chances of anything happening
ended tragically and other circumstances took place and
whatnot. so anyways, he invited Joe to hangout with us and
maybe my friend Erin who Joe almost went out with, I think
as to show it was not a secretive thing and to let Joe know
he had the chance to come, but Joe, obviously said no. Then
he pulled an attitude on Andrew I hear, and he definately
did with me too. "So do you and Andrew hangout all the time
now?" sarcastic remarks like that. But anyhow, we decided
to go see Goldmember. So I got there 10min. before him and
am sitting in the movie theater lobby feeling really
nervous, just this feeling was like, what if he doesnt
show?? well he did show up, and i walked over towards him
and we hugged and he looked so damn cute. anyways, we went
to buy tickets and i said one to goldmember, and andrew
goes, 'no two'. so the girl puts in 2 tix and i pull out my
money and he goes "nope i dont think so" and he pays, and i
offered to buy him a drink n stuff but he said "i'm not
thirsty". so we went into the theater and sat towards the
back on the right, it was crowded. great movie. it was
HILARIOUS. i suggest you go see it. so he had his arm on
the arm rest and was pushing it towards me alot but didn't
do anything, then in the middle of the movie, he just took
my hand, sort of like he did at Swingtime that one foggy
yet, "star filled"(in my eyes, haah) night. And we watched
the resta the movie like that and it was, great. We left
the movies and he offered to drive me over to meet my
family at Swingtime. So we got in the car and drove and
listened to his Further Seems Forever cd. We pulled up and
he accidentally bumped a car in the parking lot, but
nothing bad and no marks. So he got out and I got out and
we hugged goodbye but then talked for a minute or so, and
then we hugged again but this time, he kissed me, and well,
i'm all smiles.
only problem is he didn't call me today and i guess i'm
feeling a little jumpy and emotional cuz I am so confused.
I don't want to like him cuz liking him always seems to end

*There's something about the look in your eyes*
*Something I noticed when the light was just right*
*It reminded twice that I was alive*
*And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight*

i just need to know where we stand, and i need joe not to

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