Agony

My Whole Life's An Itch
2002-07-30 03:33:59 (UTC)

Now I know

Now i know that love is so much more than i thought it was.
It is not just an emotion. it is a new world all together.
i have heard so many times "it's better to have loved and
lost" but do you really think it is better? I know people
who have spend a few months being madly in love and happier
than i had ever seen them before but then they end up with
years of torment over losing that person. I always thought
i was a person who believed in fate. i guess i still do. i
have this wonderful boyfriend now and because i have been
hurt before i am having a hard time accepting that this
person is good for me. I keep trying to find that hidden
evil that was in the guy who sent me to a mental hospital.
i do this knowing that the new guy has only good
intentions. he is perfect and because of my past
experiences i cannot live for the moment. No i take that
back. when i am with him i do live for the moment. i take
everything in as if i were going to die tomorrow but when i
am away from him that's when the fears start creeping up. I
know this is all in my head. i just need to realize that
these two guys are different people. it has nothing to do
with him and i know that. the strange thing is despite all
of this i am happy. I truely am happy with him. this minor
problem will pass. it is just a bridge i need to face and
cross with my eyes open to the future and closed to the
past.




Ad: