urboo2602

Life, Love and Heartache
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2002-07-29 07:33:27 (UTC)

Explanation of Love.....

I am a little upset. I was talking to my sweetie today
and the things we were talking about, kind of upset me. I
really do love him and there is no way in the world that I
can prove it or show it.... all I can do is to ask him to
believe me and have faith in me... but how can I do that
when I am not so sure I have faith in myself. I mean I know
I am so inlove with him and when I dont see him on or talk
to him I get so upset. I mean I really cry because I
haven't talked to him in 2 days. He is beyond words.... I
mean the feelings.... I can't describe. We can sit there
and talk on the phone and its great. But as soon as we get
off I am so scared that there is somebody else. I am so
scared that after 2 more years, his feelings will fade
again. I am not so sure his feelings can come back this
next time. I am so afraid that I will miss out on something
great in my life if I let him go, but if I let him stay,
the distance will eat me up inside. I am for sure ready to
have a serious relationship of my life. I feel my knowledge
on areas are enough for me to know a difference. On the
other hand, I am not so sure that he feels the same.
Sometimes a person says something with out thinking it
through first. I wonder if that is what this is for him? I
don't know how he is supposed to show me he cares
considering we are so far apart and sometimes words aren't
enough. He still has 2 years of high school left and 4
years of college after that... I just have college and I
can't leave my family, and he wants to stay in the
"southern" area.... how is anything supposed to work out? I
mean he talks about marriage and a house and those sorts of
things. I am so scared to hope for those things and them
not happen. I am just so confused about life.... how is
love going to make me happy if it is such a struggle to get
it. If I sit and wait for him to come to me, I may be
waiting forever. I mean my last boyfriend was dying to be
with me..... he couldn't wait to ask me out and just wanted
a long distance relationship and everything, and just would
do the world for me. My other ex is trying to hard to
change so that we can be together again..... the guy I am
fallin in love with, doesn't say or show or anything.
Saying you love someone is different then showing. I just
don't know...... love messes with your head and changes
your plans. I am insanely inlove with a fool!!!!


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