Sarahbellum

repetition

I'm still cleaning out my desk. I am always doing that. I
never followed my mother's orders that if you keep
everything where it is supposed to be then you won't have to
clean so much. I have 5 billion notebooks that are half
used and half written in, and no where to put them. I have
too much stuff that I sorda need and don't want. I found
some little sheets of paper with poems on them...I think
I've written the poems in here before, but I guess it
doesn't hurt to write it again, if I can throw one more
thing away.
***
I want to feel your breath on me. I hunger for your touch.
I need to taste your lips. I ache for you so much. In
your arms lies safety. Serenity in your eyes. Passion in
your mouth. Strength you can't disguise. The thought of
you is permanent it never goes away. Every minute it is
there. A reminder everyday. I am here when you are ready
to grab hold of the stars. Trust the love you'll find in me
and make the future ours.
***
I found a to do list in one of my notebooks. I was always
writing to do lists, and I never managed to complete one
thing on them. I think I needed to put different things on
them. Instead of putting (study for logic quiz) I should
have put (watch three hours of stupid tv and eat a pint of
ice cream). Those things I can do easily. Oh well. I
wrote a poem for my hon today. Here goes... You're my
sunshine. You're my rain. You're my joy. And you're my
pain. You're my life. You're my tears. You're my
laughter. and you're my fears. You're my tomorrow. You're
my yesterday. You're my forever. That's all i can say.

It amazes me that all the poems I have written even if I had
never felt it I knew it was there. I wish I could finish a
story. Just one. I have so many that have just barely
gotten started. I wanted to finish one before the end of
this year. Take the summer and write a novel. But it is so
hard. It gives me so much and takes so much out of me. I
don't want to keep putting it off. I think If i keep doing
this journal thing and become dedicated to writing it will
come much easier and I'll find my peace.