Lost_star

I can't sleep -

5/20/2001

I can't sleep! I have so much on my mind! I need to go to
sleep. I was talking to Kyle, it is weird telling him how I
feel. It really is! I am not use to it. I am refraining or
trying to refrain from starting to really like Kyle again.
I really don't want to get hurt, and I know he says he
won't hurt me but, he hurt me so bad last year. I know he
doesn't feel the same way, which makes it worse. He likes
Hannah and he likes Natalie. whatever

As you know matt came over tonight, he really is a cool
guy, he is fun to be with. We had fun.

I have three softball games tomorrow. I am excited, I
really am. I love softball! After softball, I am going to
Sandra's party. I have to face all my friends, great. It is
really weird hanging around them now. I really feel like I
don't fit in anymore. I guess I just got sick of trying to
conform with them. It is really hard right now. I don't
have many girl friends. I have maybe one or two. I mean
really girl friends, ones that I can talk to. It is really
hard. I tried pulling myself away from the group last year,
it didn't work. I mean I still talk to them.they are still
my friends, its just that we are not as close.

I am listening to David Bowie's the wind... its is a really
good song..

goodnight...

jess