Shpammy21

The Trials and Mishaps of Jessica
2002-07-28 00:35:33 (UTC)

Life

Hey-
This is my first time writing so I guess I should start
off by the basics. I am 16 and I live in Ohio. I am a
Ballet dancer, and well I guess that is about it. I am
starting this journal so that I can express how I feel
bcause it is easier for me to write then to talk about it.
So if my "FRIENDS" want to know whatz up they can come
here. I am not sure where to start but I'll start with one
of the biggest things that is on my mind.
Kevin- He is my ex boyfriend we dated for like 10
months. He was the best thing that had ever happend to me.
Anytime I needed a friend he was always there for me. He
meant the world to me. And then of course as things do we
broke up. It was the worst thing that had ever happend to
me. He just got up and left one day like it was his job. We
didnt have a good ending at all. It turned out to be my
fault why we broke up. He was never happy with me or so it
has been said! He needed his space. I understand now but I
didnt then. We went our separate ways and that was that.
Then a couple of weeks ago he came back into my life! And
he fooled alot of people into thinking that he really
wanted to be with me. and maybe he didnt fool people and
that is how he really feels but i tell myself that he
fooled us so that i dont sit and wait for his calls or wait
for him to come back again. I guess i cant fool my heart
though when I tell people that I dont love him anymore
because I do! I know that it is so unheard of for a 16 year
old to be in love but it happend and I wish I could do it
all over again.The worst thing is he doesnt even know how
much he means to me, he doesnt know that I feel the way I do.
Maybe he does but it doesnt matter because i am sure he
doesnt feel the same and if he does i hope maybe sometime he will
show it.I know he has alot going on in his life and with his friends
treating him like shit...but i have always tried to be there for him
even when we werent gettting along that has to count for something.
But whatever on to other things.
My best friends! Natalie she is the coolest always
lookin out for me and stuff making sure I dont get hurt.
She is like the mom of our group! But yea she has a boy
Conor who better treat her right or else. She really likes
him and sometimes it seems like she has more fun with him
then she does with us. which in a way hurts but hey its new
and stuff and they look so cute together! She desevers
something good like this. And then there is Lisa. She is
like me we dont have boyz we just chill and wait for hot
guyz to drive by in nice cars. She is all about softball
which is sweet! But she left yesterday for some place with
another friend of ours for a week so that kind of sucks!
Me and Natalie and Lisa are like the crew most of the time
we are together and having fun. And then there is Irene. I
work with her! She is sweet! SHe has had a hard life but
she makes the best of what she has and for that i give her
so much credit! She is one of the sweeetest people i know.
Well i guess that is just a start...I'll write more
soon as things go on with people! Ttyl




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