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2000-10-25 19:18:12 (UTC)

Today: I lay in a bed thinking..

I lay in a bed thinking Iam going to Sleep and Dream of wounderful
things. Well that is just a Dream, cause I don't sleep and I don't
dream I juat lay there and think of things that I know will never
come true. i don't know why men say " I Love you" when they don't.

Men play cruel game with ones heart and that is not fair... I know I
have been waiting now 10 days to just see his IM pop up on my screen
if i keep sitting here holding my breath,Iam going to Die waiting for
him. I hurt but I can't tell anyone Iam hurting cause they will not
understand.They don't understand how one can feel for someone who you
have never seen.
Sometime I wish someone would slap and tell Me HELLO Jade wake up
this is AOL and nothing is always true on here!!!! God why do I let
myself get into this all. Iam so so stupid Iam fool to really think
finially someone could Love me . I must have been crazy cause no one
can love me but me ....... So I will have to learn to with it cause
Iam young and have a lot of living to do!

I really wanted to do my living with this man ,but I just don't
think he wants to make time for me in his life. I believe Iam a game
with him to see how far he can push me until I break. Iam almost to
the point of breaking and he will win. Let him WIN is going to be the
easy way put for me!

I love blank sheet of paper cause they can be filled with some of
your most deepest and darkest feeling .... Sometime they can tell a
story and sometime they never speak a word to anyone.
But paper can also cut you and a paper cut can hurt.I also believe
when you read something that is sad, happy, or hatefull.That paper
can cut your heart as well as your hands.
:( this face is the only way I can really explain my feelings right

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