sweetiepiefuckface

Getting My Grub On
2002-07-27 13:57:39 (UTC)

Help

I am drowning. Dreamed of mechanical snakes and horrible
bloodshed. My sleeping is getting worse. I never feel
rested. Usually I wake up with pounding headaches, likely
from my brain not getting enough oxygen. If I can manage
to go back to sleep, that's when the nightmares get worse.
Just imagine being so tired that you want to sleep a
million years, but so exhasted from nightmares and
breathing problems that no rest was to be had.

Well, obviously, the nightmares stem from unresolved issues
in my life (duh). Shit, I go to therapy twice, sometimes
thrice, a week... what else can I do? Get over it, some
might say. Fuck you, YOU get over 28 years of trauma.

The cysts are wearing holes in my ovaries. At least, that
is what I envision them doing. Doc says there is nothing
to be done. Gee, thanks for letting me down easy on the
whole 'I would like to bear a child one day' thing. What a
prince you are.

I am considering getting gastric bypass surgery. It is
almost like a fairy tale weight loss situation. I know it
is far more complicated than that, but hell, I can wish
can't I?

Losing dramatic amounts of weight would help me with all of
my health problems, including the sleep apnea.

A bit drastic, you ask? You try living in this heavy body
for the rest of your life, never being able to lose enough
weight because your metabolic set-point is too high.

Damn damn damn.

I am just a bundle of fun today, aren't I?




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