angryanymore

angryanymore
2002-07-27 08:23:38 (UTC)

closing: "where are issacs arms" .. opting for water...... post-dizzydrunkmissingtiredissacawalk to remember. i miss him. where is he? what's he doing.. is he thinking of me. he's....... everyhting..... and i don't even know what everything is

issac says he's in chicago.

and i'm drinking to stop the pain.... of everything... of
missing of wondering..... of uncertainty.........

i want to receive all of the thinks that i feel. i want to
be held........ not sexed..... just held. i want to see "i
love you" not hear. i want to be ohsopreciouswords. i
want......

perhaps this state of mind makes me more open to my
feelings.

i tried to be numb because i thought it would make it
easier.

but my god. why am i crying now? and how many more nights
will it be like this........ and how many more shots will
it take to make go away............ taka
vodka..............................

i miss him...... and i don't even know what it feels like
to have him hold me...... or what if feels like to smell
him....... or kiss him.... ......

drink
drink


i've been doing tae bo.......... and adipex and
xenical........ i've lost 20 pounds.


my god........... this vodka and dr. pepper tastes like
crappppp.......

i'm gonna go lahy on the couch and miss issac and cry over
a walk to remember *you know the sappy movie* .....
probably not.

i miss issac.

i guess it's useless to though...


time to cry....... in 5.... 4.... 3...


n.kristen.bryant.

dizzyinlovealonemissingwonderingdrunkwhereisissacisheokimiss
himsomuchwhatdoyoudowhenyoulovesomeonewhosneverevenbeenhereo
rmightnotevencarebecausehehashisownlifetoliveevenifitdoesnti
ncludemeiwantineediloveimissiknownotofanyofthesethingseventh
oughtheyexistiwanttocrydielaughsmileinhisarms...but where
are issacs arms?


i love you

....... and i haven't felt that feeling in so long. so
where are you. who are you? ........ find me. hold me.
miss me too. make me... me again........... ... but only if
you need me as much as..............i think i need you.