a little taste of me
2001-07-05 17:16:27 (UTC)

i feel like a btich today

today i feel so bitchy. i cant stand feeling this way. i feel so irritible. its the 5th and its been 2 years since me and jesse met and i miss him terribly. its feels like eternity. i hate feeling like this. it hurts everyone i know. i just want to just confront him and tell him how i feel. but i cant find him. today i have to aviod as much confortations as i can. just stay away from everyone. im never like this im usually happy-go lucky and laid-back. but today im in this dark deep world that is making me in a pissed off mood. i love him but i cant help being so mad that i want to kill him because of what he did to me. he hurt so bad and he just made feel not good enough. but i love him so much. i cant seem to get out of this mood. i feel like a dog ready to attack anything or anyone that gets int he way of me. right now everything annoys me. even my own best friend is pissing me off becuase she hasnt called. i ahd a terrible dream last night about my stepdad beating my mom. this day better hurry up and get over with. i dont like it. i want to talk about it but none of my family will talk to mw about it because they say i have to get over him and that he is no good me for me. well i love him so much how can i get over him. if they only knew what i was going through. i was crying when i went to bed this morning at 2. i know will end crying here soon. i think i should go to bed but then again i have things to do. i cant bare to be with out him. this is hell it really is. why is my life so screwed up. why cant i have a normal life. like most of the people i know. i want him back so bad. so many things have been reminding of him i wish it would all go away!!!!