Lady Marmelade

Days of Reality
2001-07-05 13:03:57 (UTC)

Destination: Hollywood

i have a dream. i want to be an world-famous actress (like
julia roberts, catherin zeta jones, etc.) when i grow up.
i've had this dream ever since i thought ppl LIVED in TV's.
ne way, it's not easy to make this dream come true, i know.
but come on, it's a lot easier if i had some support.

but no, my parents are those really traditional ones. that
want me to become some kinda high-powered lawyer when i grow
up. yeah, right. but i have to humor them, pretending that's
what i want also, just so that they dont' get suspicious.
it's hard to describe it. but they put me down in a
'supportive' way. like they say, 'laura, we dont want u to
get hurt, thats why we dont want u becoming an actress.' or
'honestly, laura. i dont wanna say this, but your not even
pretty enough to be one.' it's really depressing how they
don't believe that i can do it, not even for just a second.

ppl at school send me mixed messages. roxy believes that i
can do it, so does yerusi halima and other peeps. but some
laugh when i tell them my dream. cuz i'm such a
smarty-pants, how can a smarty-pants become an actress. oh
well, at least they never say i'm not pretty enough.
honestly, i hope i am pretty enough. i dont' know how i look in
other people's eyes. there are ppl say that i am pretty and skinny
and enough guys say that too. but to me, i'm just a weird, chubby
girl that's definitely not counted as pretty.

i want to act, not because of the money or stardom or hot
guys (maybe just a little), more because i want to reach out
to people. like, i make a moving movie like 'pearl harbor'
to inspire people. to make them think about it longer than
just a couple of hours in the theater. i want them to
remember this film for a long time as an insperation. it's
hard to describe it, but i want people to relate to the
movies. whatever.

to those who don't think i can make it, wait a couple of
years. wait til my face is on covers of magazines, on TV, in
promising movie commercials. wait and you'll see, and you
no what i'm gonna say when that day comes? IN YOU FUCKIN