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Dark Secrets
2002-07-26 11:44:03 (UTC)

All by myself.

Hi....

I havent been writing for a long time. Sorry that i wasnt
in the mood to write. There are many things i feel sorry
abt. Too many things that i didnt do well...i should be
sorry to myself. I always feel that a part of me is
missing. Im just not myself. Im not doing anything for
myself. y? i do not noe. Im not concentrating on myself...i
loss my sense of direction. Im an "extreme" person. If i
look out for myself, perhaps, i wont be bothered for the
rest of the world or pple around me, not even one. Just
like the way i am a few years ago. I only have eyes for one
thing, one person. Im not flexible, how sad as a designer.
Im stubbornly inlove with my personality, just like someone
else.

Im getting tired of looking out for pple's needs and
neglecting myself. Concentrating on just one thing. Is
that a beauty in me? Im tiring myself out. I duno why im
born like this. I'm tired of.......needing pple. I'm tired
of..always looking forward to an event that will make me
happy. Im tired of myself depending on circumstances.. Dun
u think that is so sad? What's one life abt? just ......
living for...." ". Maybe a certain time
period. THAT might be gone in a matter of days, hrs. Living
for the future sweet memories? for the past?
God! how abt living for one person? * shakes my head in
dismay*

AT least rite now im doing sth for myself, at this moment.
A diary!...my dear diary.........can i depend on u? better
not. Tears, dun come down.

No one is reliable...
not even myself.
No one can promise u anything for tmr.
when someone make a promise, be glad that he/she is true
for that one moment -_- ;_;


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