Sarah

*Angel*
2002-07-26 06:29:43 (UTC)

Complicating

Well, i think i am going a little loopy today.. i have
cried about 5 times and i just wish that i could jump off a
bridge. i am so fed up with feeling like im not good enough
for anyone.. Im just soo sick of people, really i am... Oh
hang on i have to go check my Voicemail walter told me to
before i go to bed.. BE BACK!!

OMG!!* The sweetest thing, i wrote earlier then i felt so
fat because i gained 2 pounds and walter was all like i
wanna take you to the nat*its a place where you work out*
tomorrow because you gained 2 fucking pounds yada yada!!
and it was just the sweetest thing!! he is so perfect..
damnit and i was mad at him today too.. i know hes gonna
read this and hopefully by then i can tell him whats up..
its like this, i wanted to do something with him today but
it seems like i have to be the one to ask him if he wants
to do something.. like today he asked me what i was doing
tonight,*beofre he went to work* and i said nothing i dont
have plans, and he was like well oky ill call you at 9
LIKE I WAS SUPOSED TO SAY OHHH LETS DO SOMETHING..so then
he called at 5 till 9 and said he was working till 10 and
asked it there was anything going on, what was i suposed to
say? hes the guy cant he ask me??? he never does i have to
ask him, yeah sometimes i piss him off because i say Maybe
or i dunno all the time but they mean yes, im just teasing
him!! SO he got off at 10 and 1055 he calls me and said
that he just got off the phone with leslie*his brothers
girlfriend because he left to go to north carolina for the
guards*and hes like call me in 45 min, because he wanted to
get a shower, well when i hung up i started crying and just
went upstairs thinking i was going to bed because i was
upset but i watched a movie instead!! oh well,
relationships are complicated... We dont have a "sexual"
relationship yet... like we havent done anything except
kiss, and he is so patient.. and its been 6 months almost!
tell me thats not quality in a guy..
Personally i am jealous of myself because i have him and
hes so wonderful.. I treat him bad sometimes, and i he
doesnt deserve that at all.. I am so afraid ill treat him
like abby did and not appreciate him, thats why i have
taken everyting so slow, its like i want to saver it**
Because i know what its like to be in a relationship and
after a year sometimes things just arent special anymore,
its just another day with your sweetheart!!* But the way
walter makes me feel its another day of Wonderful!!!* I
talk about him to much dont i.. oh well hes what makes me
happy :) Im going to bed so i can see him soon! we are
definetly doing something tomorrow* i dunno if im crazy
bout going to the nat* i hate working out infront of people
but the fact that he thought of that makes me just so
happy~* god hes so amazing

All my love *Angels*




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