BrokenAlice

Wasted Side Of Wonderland
Ad 2:
2002-07-26 02:56:49 (UTC)

Screaming I can't take any more!!!

You break your back to get things right, and then people
turn around and smash you in the face with it. Stupid
game. I work so hard to keep the damn MUSH going and no
matter what I do it’s something. Either the backgrounds
not up, or their characters being power played, or even
better...someone called me mean! I’m so tired I could
cry!

On top of this it seems the player base doesn’t understand
I have a life outside of the game world. I have
school...okay I’m on break but STILL PEOPLE! I have health
problems that are killing me, (photosensitive people SHOULD
NOT go outside during the day without protective eye
coverage) and my sister is getting sicker. The only way I
could get things done at the speed they seem to think is
right is if I gave up eating, sleeping, blinking and
breathing!

I haven’t told anyone about it...my sister I mean…it’s not
my place. How did this happen? How could she have
something like this and me not?

To make things worse my parents are crazy. My father just
had an operation on his eyes...and he’s mean as hell
sometimes...understandable but still I seem the target. My
mother lives in her own version of reality where people are
all happy and rivers flow strawberry Kool-Aid. My friend
Darrin says he understands but it’s hard to think he does.

Douglas called me from Scotland today...he’s having a
really hard time. I wish I could do more, but really what
is there I can do or say?

Ferral and Poe are driving me crazy. Romie and Fisher are
doing everything they can to keep me sane, and Ko is
standing off at the side to offer a hug when I’m alone.

I think I need a fuck buddy.

Yeah, would fix everything!

/He/ called again…why does he always know when to call.
That one moment in my day where everything falls apart and
hits the floor in a thousand small pieces and I think my
mind could just explod…when my body hurts and my eyes burn
and the stress is eating me alive. He knows just what to
say...and this time it hit me like a knife straight through
my chest. I screamed for hours...I hate him….I hate
everything about him.

Leave me alone! God just stop calling me!

Everywhere it’s always the same goddamn thing!

Give give give, DAMNIT!

My bands doing pretty good...above all. Industrial Goth
doesn’t hit well when it’s girls...but at least we know
we’re good.

Why does everything fall apart?
When will all this end?




Ad:2