starry nite

my own world
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2002-07-25 23:37:02 (UTC)

i have a test tomarrow...i ve..

i have a test tomarrow...i've beens tudying alot. i better
do good. sat. im going to nyc. im excited. im looking
forward to that. i have so much on my mind lately. my mood
swings are really irregular....even for me. they change so
often. cj is only around when he wants something. i asked
if he would go out to eat with me later, and he said no
lets go now. and i wasnt hungry so i said no and he said
that he would be be busy later and then asked to borrow
money. i said no b/c hes too busy for me and then wants me
to do him a favor? thats not right. hes changed so much
since he got out of rehab. he was so great to be around
when he 1st got back. now its like he has friends again so
he is too busy for me.i hate that. i'm really depressed,
not in a suicidal way...but i feel incredibly worthless, i
feel like the only time people want to spend time with me
is when they have no one else. i wonder if i'll always be
like this. im so unhappy. in middle school things were
great. i had lots of people to hang out with and was always
out...last summer was great too. i was always out and it
loved it. now i sit home way too often for my own good. i
try to get out but no one wants to do anything. not with me

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