valentinenyc

A space to vent!
2002-07-25 23:30:40 (UTC)

Rant about my roommate

This is random and not connected but I needed to get it
out....

I don't know how to talk to you anymore. I don't know how
to sit down and address issues like an adult would when you
storm off into your room and refuse to speak to me. Or when
you get catty and offensive online and then tell me I'm not
allowed to defend myself because of arbitrary rules you've
established but don't follow. And don't tell me how you do
follow them because you say you want me to wait until we're
home to talk…fine…but don't start things online, don't get
catty online and start name calling, and don't go to bed to
avoid the conversation. Then when I call to see how you are
don't get monosyllabic and hold resentment. (Do you realize
that that's exactly what your parents do?)

We need guidelines we both agree to live by. Or this isn't
going to work, and let's find out now so you can find
another apartment now rather than agree to another year. I
cannot be the brunt of your aggression and cattyness when
Angela is gone. Right now you focus your bad moods and bad
days on Angela, she gets all the crap, all the remarks, but
when she's gone, will you turn it on me? Instead of coming
up with healthy ways to funnel the bad moods and aggression?
(Therapy?) You can't get hot and cold and treat people
like this. There has to be mutual respect. And I'm not
feeling like I'm getting that from you. The singing. The
catty remarks. The passive/aggressive thing where you bitch
instead of approaching someone about something that's
bothering you.

Do not tell me to relax. It's dismissive. If I am speaking
about something that is important to me, for whatever reason
you can't just tell me to "relax" which discounts how I'm
feeling and what I'm saying and says that it's not
important, when it is to me.

I know my faults and I am always conscious of them so I can
work on them. I know I have control issues which I am
working on. (Oprah-isms around the house.) I know I have
patience issues which I'm also working on. I know that
sometimes when I feel threatened I attack. I'm trying to
hold my tongue, and yes I am succeeding on this one. I know
I won't ever be perfect. None of us will. But I also know
that I am honest with myself. I know that I have taken an
accurate self-analyzation and that I know myself. You are
not. You talk big and have great ideas and think of
yourself in one way, but you are not that person. You could
be. But right now, no, you misrepresent yourself.

You are incapable of compromise. You are incapable of
sitting down like adults and hearing what they say. You are
never wrong, or other people's opinions are never valid,
just because they disagree with you. You are judgmental.
You can be very mean because you don't funnel your negative
motions well, so you just snap at people. You refuse to
change. You consider yourself above criticism.

Just like your parents…above criticism. Everyone else is
wrong. Everyone else has to change. They're the victim.
Avoid the confrontation. Make the little things huge.

Can't say these things to me now, agree with me to have a
place to live, but then turn once September comes.

TV? You said you'd get the system but now you're hinting
that you won't. We had an agreement.

We also had an agreement to be adults and live together and
you're failing at that too. You prove it every time you
decide that something else is more important. Softball.
Work. I know they're important and you made commitments but
you also made a commitment to me. And you don't live up to
that at all.

I am looking into replacing you as a roommate. I have
already started advertising online. And looking for a place
to move to. Unless we work this out tonight we're done. I
don't care how long we've been friends.




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