the life of one woman
2001-07-05 04:41:21 (UTC)


we were watching television. i think it was the history
channel. something occurred to me as the program progressed
and i wanted to ask him if i was correct in my conclusion.
he's the history buff. he told me to wait for the
commercial. i snapped at him asking something to the effect
of "is the television more important?". he turned it off
and said "what" "what" "what is so important?". i didn't
say anything. i was just irritated by the way he told me to
wait rather than asked if i could. he had been in a foul
mood all night and i guess i just reflected it right back at

he didn't talk to me the rest of the night though. he was
so angry. he went to the garage to get his bike out to
ride. yay. i got the remote. there i was watching
whatever i changed it to and i heard three large banging
noises. he stormed into the house, grabbed the keys to the
truck and stormed back out.

a couple days later he told me that the back tire had been
flat. he went to use the bike pump to re-inflate it. when
he tried to take the pump off of the tube's nozzle the
entire nozzle on the tube was stuck to the pump. it would
not come unscrewed and eventually broke off. this of course
left him with a large hole in the tire which was now flat
again. he threw the pump against the wall of the house,
missing the front window. then he grabbed it and threw it
into the garage through the side door on his left. then he
picked up the bike and threw that into the garage too.
those were the 3 noises i heard.

i think we started speaking again the next evening after

i'm tired of the tantrums, his mood swings, and his intense
anger. i wish to clarify that he doesn't direct these
things at me in any way that would threaten or bring harm to
me, but i hate being around it just the same. he just loses
control when he doesn't have to and i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate the silence.

i hate him when he's like that.