Attie_Jay

Attie's Path
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2001-07-05 02:46:03 (UTC)

Tales of the opposite sex, Part II

Current Events--

Funny thing about girls is that I worry more about them
than I do my own life. It's pathetic, and it needs to
change, but I don't know why it hasn't yet.

I feel like I'm in middle school again. I hate it.

So there's a girl I've been after for months...and when I
finally tell her I like her, she says that she's liked me
from the beginning, but that I pretty much mentioned it too
late to even start antything with her.

She says she'll think about it...
...then she ignores me for days.

I don't know what to do about it. I can't force her to talk
to me, but I just want an answer. I want her to either fall
into my arms or tell me that she never wants to see me
again. Either would be fine with me, it's the maybes that
suck.

And this isn't the best looking, or the smartest, or the
coolest girl I've ever met. I'm not in love with her, we
really don't have that much in common, and we see each
other very rarely.

But infatuation doesn't care about these things.
Infatuation wants what's there now.

I was so attracted to her, but I was scared to death of her
at the same time. Leaving myself open for a cheap shot
isn't one of the things I'm good at. Looking too important
for the situation and pretending I don't care are my best
subjects. Before I told her, she didn't even know I was
interested.

I must be really good at doing the wrong thing.

I guess living in regret would have been not talking to her
about it at all though. So I did the right thing...the
wrong way.

I said it before, and I'll say it again...I think too much.

3 years since Spain and Laurie--

The last 36 months have been the strangest roller coaster
I've lived lince life began. Three years. Three years since
I came out of my shell and began my transformation into
what I am now. But if I break it down...

18 months were all failures...
18 more were all successes.

So what happens next?


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