You know, if I already didn't think being the female sucks,
I've got yet another situation on my hands to further that
When Mike's band played the other night, I spent some time
with his roommate, Robb. Robb is an odd guy. Strange,
intense personality, and according to some people, he takes
things other people say and blows them out of proportion.
So this girl walks into the bar, very blonde and wearing a
tight red dress, and is expending plenty of energy playing
the sex kitten role. I don't really pay much attention to
her, but later Robb relates this story: "Mike said to
me, 'wow, that chick in the red dress is really hot,' but I
said, 'she's got too much junk in the trunk.' (meaning she
has a fat ass)" The purpose of Robb's comment was too show
how clever he is with the little junk quip. Whatever.
But I was somewhat disturbed by the fact that Mike thought
she was hot, because she is the precise opposite of me.
Just so you know I'm not overreacting, this has happened in
the past, where Mike comments on some girl that couldn't
possibly be more different than me. And then there's all
his comments about how I don't wear skirts enough, or thong
underwear enough, blah blah blah. When I say to him, 'you
know, if you're looking for that kind of girl, you're
really barking up the wrong tree with me. I mountain bike,
I snowboard, and I don't give a shit whether or not dumb
guys think I'm sexy.' He always replies that he prefers the
tomboy type and that I have nothing to worry about, but I
sense something slightly false in his reassurance, and I've
yet to shake the feeling that he's always checking out his
So after the blonde girl incident the other night, I was
really feeling dubious about the whole thing, and was
starting to wonder -- have I just wasted two years with a
guy who wishes I was like this blonde chick, and is
basically using me as sloppy seconds until he can manage to
succeed with someone like that? So I basically asked the
question straight out (not quite that rudely, of course)
and he got very upset. He started ranting about how I was
not listening to him on this, and that the town is full of
eye candy, but that nothing to do with how he feels about
me, anyway, and that he is fully mine, hook, line and
sinker, and that he doesn't want some useless Barbie doll
who can't do anything fun and spends her whole life in
front of the mirror. (I'm paraphrasing here, but that's the
gist.)And now he's pissed off that I think he's the kind of
guy that would ruin a great relationship over some bimbo.
And then, bottom line, he swears that he never even talked
to Robb about that girl, and he didn't find her that
attractive in the first place.
So now I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place.
Assuming Mike's telling the truth (and I think he's very
trustworthy), that means Robb just made up the conversation
so he could use his favorite "junk in the trunk" phrase. Or
else he was trying to rile me up towards Mike, but Robb
doesn't seem like that kind of person.
So, okay, I apologize to Mike over and over, trying to
reassure him that I don't think he's a scumbag, and that
it's all good, I believe him now, etc. etc.
After that, I thought everything was fine.
Then the next night, he tells me that he talked to Robb
about it (What????!!??? I'm thinking) and Robb says he
never said Mike's name in that story, he said Pat, Mike's
brother (who is also in the band and very much looking to
get laid). So, okay, it's a noisy bar, but the words Mike
and Pat do not sound THAT similar. Either I need a hearing
aid, or Robb's lying to protect himself.
But no matter which, I was intensely pissed off that Robb
had gotten involved in the issue. Now that whole household
(Pat lives there too) thinks I'm the whiny, insecure woman
that can't handle her boyfriend noticing other women. Which
is not the case -- I look at other men all day, because
this town if chock full of young, built, hot guys -- so I'm
no hypocrite. But generally my taste is pretty consistent...
every guy I check out is sort of in the same neighborhood,
looks-wise, as Mike, so were the situation reversed, he
wouldn't start to wonder,"wow, every guy she looks at is
nothing like me...are those kind of guys what she really
Grrrrr. I can never win! Either I sit around suffering
under the illusion that I'm an easy lay to some guy that
really wants a trophy, or I get my "stupidity" paraded
around to all of Mike's housemates that I have to see all
the time. Did he really have to discuss this with Robb??
Why wasn't I born a man? I wouldn't have to deal with ANY
of this shit!!!!!!!
Relationships are annoying. I'm starting to get that urge
to be alone again. I don't have the patience with stuff
like this, and generally when I burn out on trying to
figure out if a guy's bullshitting me, I dump him and
forget about it. The only problem is that I really, really
dig Mike, and we have a practically perfect relationship
aside from that one (very legitimate, I thought) concern I
But now I get to look forward to Robb bringing this up with
me, as I'm sure he will, and it will only get more strung
out and overworked, and I have no way to avoid looking like
the fool. Jeeeesus.