triadgirl

wearing the inside out
2002-07-24 05:26:27 (UTC)

2002-03-29 - 7:14 p.m. AHHHH!!

well hello.

not much is going on. its the first day of springbreak and
i am bored as hell. i went tanning again today. my pale
ass finally has some color!! since i havent posted in here
forever i will update you on some stuff. Rob and i are
back together. we have been together for 4 months now. The
bad thing is that i am ready to get out. i just dont know
how i can. i said the I love you thing back to him which i
dont know why i did. at the time it seemed right and i
honestly thought i did. but nobody compares to my first
love and rob is only the second person i have said i love
you to so its not like i go around saying it. But i
realize that i was more in love with the idea of being in
love and i dont love him. like a week ago something
snapped in my head. and i looked at him and was like
wow..im not into you like i used to be. i dont know how or
why it happened. i was talking to my friend stephanie who
is a senior and has been with her boyfriend for 3 years
and she says that thats normal. well ive been trying to
ignore it but i cant. so i need to find some way to break
it off. but sooo many people will hate me. not that i care
what others thing but i dont want to be known for breaking
someones heart you know? and He is really into me. always
buying me stuff and being there for me..hes great..just
not the guy for me thats all. more of a friend greatness.
and im not into the guy always buying me stuff anyways so
i mean its not that i dont appreciate his efforts..i just
dont think he is the guy for me. oh and there is another
minor detail...his friend adam..i have liked since the
beginning of the year who i dont think i have a chance
with..but, man i like him alot. but nothing can happen
there. wouldnt it be wrong to hook up with his friend?? i
mean they arent best friends but they still hang out
together. i dont know. its weird. i would really like to
persue something with him though. i just dont think he
likes me. so fuck that idea i guess. i think i should be
single but how the hell am i going to do that. you cant
just say i love you to someone and then dump them!! Even
if people do do it all the time..i think its harsh. i wish
i would have never said it. i dont want to be one of those
girls who says it then takes it back, i really made a
mistake. at least i am owning up to it. i just wish i knew
how i could end this in a clean way. any suggestions?? i
am open to anything at this point. well i got some stuff i
gotta do. so ill come back and write later.

SNOOGINS!!

melissa




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