spitfire

Realizations of a 24yr old convict
2001-07-04 11:30:44 (UTC)

I met a beautiful Junkie

Id been on the road for a few hours with minimal sleep to
start with! I stopped to check out these out lets cause
they have some shoe shops there. I had wondered for a while
and talked with some people I didnt know very kind though I
must say.
I saw her while looking at a sweatshirt that I was about
to buy for a friend,she knows nothing of clothes and was
amazed by the thickness of one I was wearing just last week
shed never owned a think sweatshirt before only cheep jerzes
or cheata crap who ever makes those paper thin deals,
A nice amber crombie in my hand and there she was out side
the window in the heat looking sorta confused,looking lost
or distraut and I watched her move and smoke and the
clothes she wore.
I knew I must smoke and really see her speak with her,
I asked her for a light and spoke a little with her.
She asked If she knew me and I simply replied no but I
think I know you, your story, mabe not the detials but a
genral over view, I think I scared her but I asked her
about the cheeva and If she wasnt to dope sick or If she
felt like a slice, If I could buy her one.
We spoke of life love and the loss of god she seemed
smart and yet scared by the world and as most of us at that
point a hatred toward the word hope or viewed it as a myth
for little kids like santa claus.I told her of parole and
prison and a little of my story as to let her know it was
cool who she was and I wasnt about to judge her or think
unkindly of any words she may speak.
Its a really touchy thing to speak with people in there
addiction and I was gentel with her I think I asked her
about family and things,I wanted to give her money for a
bus ticket or another shot anything either way just to help
her on her way. I think I did the right thing just trying
to let her know its alright to get clean to do somthing else
I didnt get at her to much I know shes probly gowed as I
type this but mabe somday shell remember that conversation
and that i wasnt a bad dude and realize its ok to do
somthing else.
She was lovley and we went to the vans store and when we
came out she was like here and gave me this wallet and a
key chain clippy that she had boosted. Fucking boosting
shit I remember those things I guess Its her hussle every
body in the games gotta have one. Her legs could have used
a shave but she smelled good and her hair had been combed
out nicley she wasnt really to far out there and you know
shes probly gotta long road before she hits the bottom but
you never can tell. Anyways I gave her some cash she said
she couldnt take it and that the conversation had been enuff
which I found strange like she had some pride about her.
I really liked that so I didnt force her to take it just
slid it into her backpack before I left. Figure If Im long
gone It wont hurt her pride and shell have saved face.
But wont be cold and dopesick and regreting it.
I really only speak on it now cause I dont wanna forget
her or it, that life I dont ever wanna think oh yeah
everything is just peachy keen,I wanna remember that always
out there thiers somone in pain and knows the pain of the
world sounds strange I know, but to lose that sense of
things you become delusional, unreal, out of touch cause
thats real its everyday for sompeople and its a way of life
and its sad yes very sad but its real its out there and its
probly some one you know or loved and if not its someone
elses daughter first girlfriend first love and somone knows
the pain and loss of losing her to the dragon.

You know somtimes poeple I speak with people who know
somthing of my life look at it and go wow thats tragic.
I cant Imagain or mabe there just happy it wasnt them but
you know my life isnt tragic its not a sad story and its
not somthing I regret.Its been a blessing I see things
others miss and I know many things other cant even
understand and would probly choose not to if they could but
I wouldnt. Im thankful for evrything for being able to know
that girl and know who she was with out even a word and as
others just walked by I saw her pain and sorta knew what
she was going though and got to spend a few hours of my
life with her and hopfully did somthing positive for her as
the others just walked on by. For that Im thankful and
wouldnt change any of the pain Ive known cuase with out it
I might have just walked on by like the rest while she sat
in confusion and at a loss.

The end for now,
with love,respect and hope
Stay positive
spitfire