2002-07-24 03:09:15 (UTC)

Tru Luv Waits?

Mmkay, let me catch you up on what has been happening as
of late. First of all, I turned 16 on July 2, and I had
the coolest party with 14 of my friends! Marcus was there
too, hee hee.

That's the next thing. Me and Marcus have gotten really
really really close. And my mind always wanders to him and
I have gotten to the point in which I can not even
concentrate on a task I am presently trying to accomplish
without him popping into my head. UGH! It's so
frustrating! But I suppose I don't mind...

I do mind something though. The fact that I am a
christian kind of runs contrary to having a relationship
with Marcus. Ya see, he's agnostic and all. I tried
getting him to question his beliefs, but I have no right
to do that. It has to be a willing desire. So I came to
the conclusion 'let bygones be bygones' is that how it
goes? Anywayz, on to the next subject...

UHm, people who are married undoubtedly make love and
all, but even more people who are NOT in love do it too.
Now, I know I am NOT in love with Marcus, but that doesn't
mean I can't have fun with him, rite? I mean, we're just
best friends who wanna have fun so why shouldn't we? Maybe
I'm missing a vital key to this or sumthin.

Mmkay, I know I'm a christain. But where in the bible
does it say to wait? Thats all I want to know. If you
happen to know, tell me, huh.

Oh, I heard the first time hurts alot! Man, is that
true? Ouch! I can't imagine what it would feel like. The
one thing that scares me off from doing the dirty deed,
though, is not the pain, but the risk of pregnancy. Even
with a condom, you can still get pregnant. I am terrified
of that fact. ISCHK! I'm too young to be a mother! I don't
even like kids that much; I can barely tolerate my two
year old nephew-who happens to be the product of
premarital sex by the way.

I suppose you might say, why dont you just wait? Well,
because I don't intend on marrying Marcus and I really
wanna share sumthin special with him, ya know? Maybe this
is too special? I'm really not sure. I'm obviously at a
crossroad here! Can I get some advice?

thank youse!
much luv