starry nite

my own world
2002-07-23 21:36:39 (UTC)

yesterday tara spent the nite...

yesterday tara spent the nite. it was fun, me, her, and
tasha went out to dennys and steve and kayla met us there.
it would have been more fun if kayla and tasha hadnt been
there because tara wanted to meet steve since she has only
talked to him on the phone and since steve is friends with
kayla he kinda talked to her a lot and tara only got to see
his hyper weird side...the way he acts when a lot of people
are around, hes still fun to hang out with its just hard to
get to know him that way. anyway over all it was fun. today
we (tara and i)didnt do much. we went and got ice cream
which was good and earlier we went and played in the rain.
i havent done that in years. it was fun jumping in puddles
and stuff...reminded me of when i was little. little kids
are so lucky, so carefree and innocent. cj told me today
that rob was asking him why i was ever with james and how i
could do so much better. and cj was "like you?" and rob
said...ya maybe. and he meant it. its funny, people dont
seem interested in me when they are around me but then tell
other people they are or say something to me after the
fact, or when im already in a relationship. where is anyone
that is interested in me now? im single now and dont see
anyone wanting to be with me. its ok, i mean i dont mind
not having a b/f. i can be happy either way. its just that
people only show their interest in me when im with someone
else or tell someone else about it. either way nothing will
ever come of it with that approach. maybe thats what they
want or maybe they are afraid of rejection. i know i dont
have the guts to tell the people that i like that i like
them, for i dont think they are interested. actually i cant
think of anyone i really have a crush on right now but im
speaking from previously when i did as well. anyway i have
a lot of problems i should deal with now before i even
consider a relationship and a lot( and i mean that in the
sense that out of the people that like me....not that a lot
of people like me) of the people that say they are
interested in me are friends with one of my brothers, and i
know travis would do nothing but put me down and besides
they probably wouldnt want to date one of their friends
sisters b/c it would be weird. i think it would be weird to
date one of my brothers friends...it could cause problems.
well im gonna go. i should practice my guitar before
lessons tomarroow...i've been slacking off when it comes to
that i really need to start practicing more. i still love
it its just im a lot more lazy in the summer....not really
lazy, but i wanna go out all the time and most the time i
dont end up going out and so if i sit home i dont feel like
doing anything.


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