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2001-07-04 00:47:09 (UTC)

04/07/01 - 10:22AM

Oh god... I am in the biggest downward spiral today. I hate
the bitch I work with sometimes, how does she make me feel
so fucking pissed off without even trying???

The funeral for the baby I mentioned a few entries back is
today. I told my boss the other day that I wouldn't be
going, I am not capable of handling this at the moment and
they need someone here to look after the sales desk. I knwo
the father of the poor baby a little, but have only met the
mother once, I would feel wrong about going anyways. But
all morning I have been glared at by this fucking bitch,
what would she know? I have been to enough funerals. She
oh fuck it forget it, I am just sick of her... She does
nothing but put everyone and everything in all lifes down
and she is very wearying to be around.

Do they honestly think I don't care about this poor little
life, lost from this world needlessly? And that I don't
care about the pain caused to Charlie and his wife??? I
have been near tears all fucking day and I hate feeling
like this, but what can you do? I know I don't have to feel
guilty about not going, so why does she make me feel that
way? Should I feel guilty???? Arrrghghghghghghghghghghghghg

I suck.

I am going to change the topic now, not out of disrespect
to the baby's life... but for my own personal sanity.

I met up with a friend from my TAFE days last night. I
hadn't seen him in ages. We lost contact after TAFE when he
went to Italy for a while, then we bumped into each other
in line for a concert I was not supposed to be at, so it
must have been fate. We have been emailing since then, but
have not really caught up. I am happy to be back to being
friends again, I missed him. I used to have the biggest
crush on him at school... hehe, but over it now... it was
just a passing phase I guess, but he is still one of the
nicest guys I have ever known...

The Minifat got his tube out last night, he looks much
better already, he is such a good kitty, even if he did sit
on my face this morning to wake me up for cuddles... :)

Thank god for my kitties, no judgmental, always there to
cuddle... love em...

I have nothing to do, which is why I am just waffling on. I
am sittig at the Sales desk manning the phones, what a
joke. 2 phone calls in 20 minutes so far, I don't
anticipate it getting much busier than it is at the moment,
of course it rang as I wrote that.

I am still going to meet this guy on Sunday night, I would
like to make some friends in real life too, not just on the
net. I lose friends so quickly, colleagues who are friends
while you work there, but disappear as soon as you leave
and never stay in contact. There are only two I see, one
from each job really... :)

I am glad I have met the people I have online though, each
one is special to me in their own way. I just hope Carl
turns up sometime soon, I am contemplating emailing a
couple of his friends and asking if they know where he is,
because I am worried about him, and his girlfriend Steph.

Oh well.. I am out of ideas to crap on about...



"I cried because I had no shoes, then I saw a man with no
feet. Then I laughed. I laughed like crazy." Jerry Blank -
Strangers with Candy.

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