chaoticgurl

~~~~my dramatic life~~~
2001-07-03 23:54:09 (UTC)

my eatting problem

i'm wrtittin on here right now so i cannot do anything else.
the truth is i have an eatting problem. iwon't admit that
to many ppl b/c the truth is the would tell doctors or my
family and i dont want them all bitching at me to eat. they
think its bad enough that im a vegetarian. i workout
everday and all, and i'm not overweight or nothin i just am
not as thin as i would like to be. it made sound shallow,
but i'm sorry i've been overly concerned w/how i look and
my weight since i was in the 5th or 6th grde. in 7th grade
i use to starve me self and not eat barely anything, in 8th
grade i discovered throwing up after i ate. fianlly this
year in 10th i realized that i shouldnt totally starve and
not eat, b/c that maks me gain weight. sometimes ithrow up
my food, but thats not vey often i swear. i dont know wh i
have this problem. it kind of scares me to know that i am
obsessed with my weight. all of my friends think im thin
enough, but its just not good enough for me. i wont stop
until the body i see in the mirror is slim and 6pk shape.
iam a girl and i dont expect to have big muscles and all i
just want to look toned on my tummy and arms. is that to
much to ask? i swear i'm not vain, i dont look at myself a
gillion timesa day. the weight problem is all in my head
and i dont like speaking about it. i must leave you now.
goodbye!~


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